


Reboot

by Malind



Category: Final Fantasy VII (Video Game 1997), Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-02 19:21:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 13
Words: 42,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24031939
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Malind/pseuds/Malind
Summary: The materia was pure, white, but held an unknown force. Could it really be so easy to hold a god in his hand?
Relationships: Sephiroth/Cloud Strife
Comments: 9
Kudos: 120





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is a repost of a story I wrote in 2014 to 2016.
> 
> Old notes: 
> 
> I've been reading up on Final Fantasy VII's unused lines hidden in the game code. There's a part in the Temple of the Ancients that gave me a muse I decided to try out.
> 
> Sooo, this story comes from the idea that materia is a part of something that once lived. When the being died, a part was condensed down into usable materia, instead of completely returning to the lifestream. This, in turn, allows a person to use whatever powers/abilities/knowledge are contained within the materia. In the case of summons, which probably capture more of the being than usual, there's a physical presence as well.

Cloud laid on his bed. Lithe, but nonetheless battle-hardened fingers held a white orb, turning it, capturing the sun's light in the milky white glow. With the added light, the orb became iridescent, as if playing with the colors found within the light. By itself however, the orb was just white, a purer white than any light bulb could possibly create.

Power flowed within the small enclosure, keeping away from his mind, as much as it begged for release. The materia's odd behavior, which he sensed whenever he concentrated on the orb, was what held him back from seeing what was contained within. Well, that, and the fact that he was nearly certain he knew what was within.

But he doubted Sephiroth would have willingly put his whole being into such a small object Cloud could have just thrown away. Maybe the lifestream had forced him into a trap, unwilling to allow Sephiroth even the possibility of creating another geostigma, more remnants, or perhaps something worse.

He replayed in his mind the last thing he'd said to Sephiroth: "Stay in my memories where you belong." 

Sephiroth's only reply had been, "I will never be a memory," before the lifesteam had reclaimed him. But Kadaj hadn't been the only thing to fall to the ground.

Cloud rolled the orb until it was between his forefinger and thumb. Sky-blue eyes looked through it, trying to reveal its mysteries with a simple stare.

"You were just supposed to be a memory." He couldn't help his smirk. Had it ever been that simple with Sephiroth that he could just will him away? ...No, never.

He palmed the large bead, stood up, and headed towards the door. He'd been staring at the thing for weeks and was tired of it. There was only one way to end this, as if fate would let him have an end. However, he wasn't about to try the materia around other people. Whatever came out of it, it was better the general public, including Tifa and the others in the household, didn't know about it.

His motorcycle rumbled through the streets. He absentmindedly noted the people around him, rebuilding what Sephiroth and his remnants had destroyed weeks before. He knew he should have been helping them, but Tifa had insisted that he take a day off. But days off only meant he had more time to think out what was hidden away in his room.

He should have thrown it away, but he... 

The ex-SOLDIER wannabe wanted Sephiroth to have a chance, to be the man Cloud had once known, however short that time had been. The man had been his idol, his dream, his fantasy. Zack had talked about him, had loved him, even if initially Sephiroth had only pissed him off. Hell, Sephiroth had even realized the evilness eroding Shin-Ra before he'd gone insane, or so he'd heard from Zack.

To the world, his enemies, to him, Sephiroth had been a god even before he'd tried to be one. He wanted Sephiroth to be that same man.

But it was foolish to think the materia held in his coat pocket could contain the man Sephiroth had been before Nibelheim.

However, on the brighter side, if there was one, if Sephiroth wasn't sane, if he really had been reduced to a summon, Cloud was sure he could control Sephiroth in ways that would probably make the man insane and bent on death, if he wasn't already. And, if he was honest with himself, he knew such control would make Sephiroth hate him. The SOLDIER would become the tool he'd been in life, except now, he'd have no real say in whatever his existence could now be considered. It wasn't a life, well, then again, a materia was the essence of life, but it was life inside a permanent cage.

A booted foot pushed the break and he came to a skidding halt in front of the dilapidated church. He knew he probably shouldn't have chosen this spot with Aeris' presence forever permeating every piece of wood, every window, every molecule of air. Or perhaps, more realistically, he just imagined her presence. Either way, he felt safe there.

Cloud slid off of the bike, removing his gloves and stuffing them into a pocket, and then walked to the permanently open front door. Inside, the pool still rested in the middle where the flowerbed had been, bubbling up from some unknown place, perhaps from the lifestream itself. He doubted it would ever leave. They'd have to build over it if they wanted it gone, visibly at least.

His stride slowed as he walked up to the crystal clear water. If the sphere in his pocket had been so clear, perhaps he could have seen what was inside, instead of seeing what hid the only other way he could, by summoning it.

Fingers, he wished weren't trembling, picked the materia out of his pocket. When he finally held it before himself, he found he didn't have the will to call on it, rather refused to have it. He had to acknowledge, not for the first time, that he was scared. He didn't want this small, ill-conceived experiment to be a failure. He didn't want to see the hate anymore in Sephiroth's eyes.

He just wanted the man to have another chance.

Breathing out a sigh, he squeezed the orb until his hand hurt. He let a small bit of his mind go to the materia. The power that pressed back at him, burning at him, took his remaining breath away before he stopped the calling. He sucked back in a breath and sat down on the rubble-ridden ground.

"God..."

Suddenly he wasn't sure he wanted to control this power. Perhaps someone else should have done it. He surely wasn't the best choice. But then again, who would dare, outside of someone who wanted death and destruction?

"Yeah, let's let the mentally unstable one with the childhood crush do it..." He couldn't help but laugh at himself, despite the fact that he knew this was no laughing matter. But hell, he needed to laugh or the stress would drive him back out the door.

Cloud closed his eyes and forced himself to steady his breath. He let his mind caress the materia he held in both hands in his lap. This time, the awareness of power didn't hit him quite as hard. When the power surged out, he opened his eyes.

A swirling black cloud formed overhead, blocking out the sun steaming in through the hole in the ceiling. The cloud spread until none of the ceiling could be seen. In the middle, a speck of light appeared. The speck grew into a ball that tried to blind his eyes. As the ball grew, he could pick out the shape of a man, clothed in blackness. A single white wing flung out from his body, chasing the clouds away, letting the day flood light around him. Sephiroth floated above him, beyond his reach. If anything could be considered a god, surely this man was one.

Calm green cat-like eyes watched him, waiting. Cloud realized how harsh his breathing had become and tried to calm it back down. He stood up on legs that he couldn't stop trembling completely. It wasn't just the beauty he saw before him, but also the power he knew this man, no, creature possessed. He could feel it pounding into him, coursing through his body, begging for release. He was surely feeling the power far more than Sephiroth who merely waited for an order.

Why had the lifestream allowed Sephiroth to keep this much power? If it was trying to cage him, shouldn't it have stripped him of it? That would only make sense. But, as the lifestream never failed to surprise him, he knew he shouldn't bother trying to come to conclusions.

When the man floated down suddenly, he realized he had willed it, wanting him to come closer, to make him real. Sephiroth never took his eyes off of his face. Perhaps that was because Cloud stared back. Had Sephiroth become merely a mirror image? The thought left him with little hope. 

"Don't come to conclusions. Not yet," he whispered to himself.

Quiet feet landed in front of him. Cloud couldn't bring himself to move. Instead he looked over the man who had once commanded him and whom he'd willingly obeyed. Sephiroth wore the same black armor he'd worn when Cloud had known him as a man, the same when he'd had killed him for the third and perhaps final time. The stillness of the man's graceful form unnerved him. He'd never seen Sephiroth so still, except when the man was deep in thought. Was he thinking?

Cloud frowned and took a step forward. The taller man merely watched him, although his head did bend down further the closer the shorter man got.

"Sephiroth?" He cringed at the word since it seemed abnormally loud.

He lifted an unsure hand up and let it hover a few inches from the summon's face. He'd never touched the man in real life, not in this way. He'd thought about it, of course, but at the time, he'd been too young, too inexperienced, to really gain his commander's interest. The man may have been a science experiment, a SOLDIER, a lunatic, and a destroyer, but he was never a cradle robber, nor overly into what was between his legs. Zack had told him he wasn't even sure if Sephiroth had ever dated someone, let alone slept with them. In fact, it wasn't even farfetched to think Sephiroth may have been a virgin.

"Sephiroth... Do you have any idea how much..."

It was stupid to say it. Stupid. Stupid. Hadn't he grown past this yet? He let his hand drop, shaking his head. 

Cloud took another step toward the beautiful man, trying to get some type of reaction. Anything. But there was nothing.

He should have willed him away instead of participating in this staring contest. He should have done a lot of things, but he couldn't bring himself to do any of them. He just couldn't accept that there wasn't a chance. There was always a chance. Wasn't there? But perhaps the man simply was a shell, a tool to be used. Clearly the lifestream had no love for this man before him, not the same kind of love he felt in his heart.

"Sephiroth..." he whispered, hopeful.

Stubborn as he was, Cloud lifted his hand once again. With the man less than a foot away, the touch would have been easy, yet his hand merely hovered above where the other man's heart should have been. He held his breath and reached.

When his fingers touched the summon's chest, his mind flashed white, then played images so quickly that he thought he was going insane yet again. He'd forgotten the horribleness of it, pain his body and mind were all too happy to forget. Then hands were on him, grabbing his arms in a solid grip that made him cringe.

"Cloud, what are you..."

As he heard it, he swore the voice was Sephiroth's. The hands left him and he felt his body collapse to the ground. Then he knew no more.


	2. Chapter 2

The church had darkened by the time he awoke. Cloud lifted his head, then his torso, looking around, rubbing off the rubble that had found a home on the side of his face. He quickly remembered where he was and why he was there. Blonde spikes cut the air as he jerked his head, searching for Sephiroth. He blew out a huff of air when he realized he was alone.

The materia.

Again, he searched, getting up on his knees when he couldn't find it right away. A glimmer in the water caught his eye. He crawled the short distance and plucked the white marble out. 

Then, after he'd done it, he had the urge to put it back in, and perhaps push it so that it would roll to the center and be forgotten in the depths. 

As if he could forget about it. Nor could he chance another person finding it.

If he was going to be rid of the thing, he'd have to find a better hiding place. When no obvious places presented themselves, which was a worthless effort anyway since he knew he could never merely let it go, not while knowing what was inside, he instead took to studying it once again.

In the evening light, it glowed eerily, but no more strangely than the mako glow of his own eyes. He traced the curve of the materia with his mind and found the same power that had been there before: Sephiroth in his cage.

Cloud strained to remember what had happened after the summoning. He remembered the light, the touch, and the pain. And he remembered the voice.

Sephiroth had spoken when he'd thought there was no chance he could. Had it been his touch? With Jenova still living inside of his cells and the communication it was capable of, the idea made sense. Sephiroth's life force had been as much foreign as part of the world. Cloud was the same, although to a lesser extent. It was probably why they'd both kept their minds so easily when engulfed within the lifestream.

Cloud stood up, trying to decide what to do. He wanted to throw the thing away as much as he wanted to summon the man to stand in front of him. To hear him speak once again... The memory of the voice chilled him as much as it heated him, leaving him lukewarm.

Blue eyes looked to the sky through the torn apart roof. Tifa and the others were probably wondering where he was by now. He should have gone home and forgotten about all of this. Playing around with a dead man wasn't good for anyone's health, his included. But he couldn't will his feet to move.

The man had spoken.

What did that mean?

The words repeated in his mind: "What are you..."

Doing? Good question. What the hell was he doing? 

Tifa would beat the crap out of him if she caught him tempting a devil in the guise of a god. 'Remember,' she'd say, 'Remember what he did to us, to our families, to everyone!' As if he could ever forget the death and chaos, even if at one time he'd been confused over the details. 

But if Sephiroth couldn't be forgiven, then how could any of them be? Blood was on all of their hands, and they all had their excuses that still made none of it right. He had no right to judge anyone besides himself.

But he also had every right to hope for something better and to fight for that dream.

His hand lifted, placing the materia directly in his field of vision. Sephiroth had spoken... Was he in there now, staring out at him? Raging? Hating him for trapping him? Would he be able to reason with the man that it hadn't been his idea? That he'd never wanted to see him again? That he'd just wanted to forget? Would either of them have believed those words?

His pulse pumping, he wanted to do some raging himself. Instead, he closed his eyes once again and forced himself to calm down, his arm dropping to his side.

He shouldn't have done this. If Sephiroth was now aware somehow, or worse, aware even now while locked inside of the materia, he'd managed to make the man's life unbearably horrible. But maybe Sephiroth wasn't aware. And perhaps the man's voice had been a figment of his imagination. Or perhaps, even if the ex-SOLDIER was aware, he wasn't aware at this moment, but rather in a kind of sleep.

But he would never know for sure unless he summoned Sephiroth once again.

At a stalemate, he sat back down, putting his head on his knees, and stayed there for nearly a half an hour, barely seeing the growing darkness surround him, debating his own mind.

If this was Sephiroth's new existence, forced to depend on the will of another to extend beyond the sphere's small borders... Would he have the strength to give Sephiroth what he needed to have a semi-decent life? If he tried, would the world even let him offer it to the man they hated?

Maybe he could destroy the materia somehow and release the man from his prison. Or would that destroy him as well?

Where would he ever find the strength to do what he needed to do? 

To hold the life of someone he loved in the palm of his hand was overwhelming to say the least.

Cloud gritted his teeth together, holding back unwelcome tears, gripping the orb in his hand harder, then whispered through a tight throat. "I'm sorry I touched you." He couldn't be sure whether the words were meant for Sephiroth or for himself. Probably for both of them.

He wished Tifa or, hell, even Barret was here to give him a pep talk. Between the two of them, they'd always been able to push the right buttons, the ones that got him moving and doing something even when he just wanted to curl up into a ball and forget about the world. He should have gone home.

Instead, he crossed his legs once again and held the orb in the hands as if trying to contain water. It glowed beautifully, fluctuating slightly as if humming to music. The idea made him smile at it. It was more comforting than thinking they were silent screams.

He closed his eyes and blew out a long breath. He couldn't avoid it any longer. It didn't make any sense to, because he knew he couldn't just get up and leave and forget.

Cloud gave the glowing orb his will, providing it the strength to release what was contained within the miniature prison. He lifted his head and observed the spectacle he'd created. 

This time, there was no grand entrance, perhaps because the calmer man wasn't unconsciously willing distance and feeding Sephiroth with fear. He... He wanted the other man near. The ball of light formed a few feet away in front of him, growing until Sephiroth took shape and stood. This time, there was no whooshing of a wing. 

After the light became bearable, Cloud dropped his hand, stopped squinting, and watched the man look down at him. When Sephiroth frowned at him, Cloud suddenly realized he should have brought a sword. Why hadn't he? Oh yeah, because he could control the other man. Right?

Sephiroth's long legs took a step before he stopped, the frown growing into something far worse. Had Cloud stopped him? He couldn't be sure. Sephiroth's face drove battle-heat into his body, making his breaths grow harsh. Then, he could feel something different in the materia's power: a fight, but a weak one. Cloud knew then that it wasn't his strength that controlled the man directly. Sephiroth had far more fight in him than this.

"Sephiroth..." He wanted to say, 'Don't fight it,' but it was a cruel thing to say, cruel to take away a man's hope for freedom. After all, he would have fought as well.

The white-haired man's gaze lowered to his lap, to the materia he held. Much of the rage left, although Cloud could still see some brewing. In its place appeared to be shock. The man seemed to realize his new position in life.

The man's gaze jerked back up. "What... What have you done?" Instantly, the man shook his head, looking away, looking around, perhaps looking for a way out. With the instant dismissal, Cloud knew Sephiroth didn't believe for a second that Cloud was capable of such a feat. Then Sephiroth's eyes were drawn back to the marble, and then to Cloud's face. "You..."

Cloud realized the man couldn't move, not with Cloud's silent, unconscious, defensive hold on his body. 

Cloud tried to calm himself down, to relinquish control, but it was difficult when he knew what the other man was capable of. Blue eyes closed and he forced his breaths to slow, his heart to relax. His eyes flashed back open when he heard the metallic sound of Sephiroth's sword materialize. The other man's motions stopped again, this time holding him in the position, instead of allowing him to come to a restful position.

Willing the sword away, Cloud stood up, staring at the sight. It didn't matter if he hadn't wanted to see Sephiroth's rage because it was coming off of the other man in waves. He was definitely seeing it now. But it was different this time, perhaps because it was laced in what felt like fear.

Cloud consciously controlled his breaths as he walked up to the other man, trying to prove a point. It was a point he was grateful for, but at the same time, would have relinquished in a heartbeat if he'd thought the other man could control himself. He knew what it was like to be controlled by another. It was horrible.

"If you kill me, you'll go back inside. Killing me won't free you. Do you understand?"

For a quiet moment, Cloud merely listened to his own breaths. Sephiroth had none of his own. Then, he could feel the fight fade. Cautiously, he forced himself to once again relinquish his hold. 

Sephiroth's fighting stance dropped away. The man resorted to merely glaring down at him, his fists flexing, his mind visibly raking through thoughts, probably trying to figure out how he could gain some type of advantage over the situation.

In the end, the only thing Sephiroth could really do was mind fuck him. At the realization, Cloud tried to mentally prepare himself for it, again regretting all of this. What could either of them possibly gain by doing this?

He could gain Sephiroth. And Sephiroth would just have to accept that the former trooper was all he had, at least for the time being.

Sephiroth twirled away, stalking off. He didn't bother going far. Stillness overtook him. In the darkness, Sephiroth's whole body took on a glow. The man would never be able to hide in darkness again. Then over his shoulder, he growled, "You must be enjoying this."

"Why the hell would I ever enjoy this?"

Sephiroth turned around slowly, eyeing him, making Cloud tighten his own muscles so that he wouldn't squirm. Then the man smirked. "I've seen what's inside of you, Cloud, your thoughts. I know you would enjoy this."

Cloud felt color on his cheeks. He shook his head, denying it, but the denial didn't go as far as his voice. If Sephiroth had seen his thoughts, his feelings, the ones on the surface when he'd touched him, there was no point in denying it that much.

The smirk grew into a cold smile. "See?"

Cloud ground his teeth together, gripping harshly at the materia in his hand. "I'm -not- enjoying this. I'm only trying... I'm trying to..." He looked away, hiding his face from the man he'd loved. Still loved. "I'm trying to give you a chance."

"A chance? A chance at what exactly?"

"Before, when I said that you understand nothing, that there isn't a thing I don't treasure... You... You were part of that."

"You say that as if it's supposed to matter to me."

"It's the only reason you're standing here right now. And if you don't want this chance, I have no problem putting you back where you belong."

Sephiroth frowned at him once again. Suddenly he could feel a building power bite at him and he reigned Sephiroth in with a thought. Sephiroth growled, "This isn't a chance."

"A chance at what exactly?"

The other man's frown grew and he looked away, lost in thought.

Watching him, Cloud rubbed at the arm holding Sephiroth's cage. It was up to Sephiroth to reject or accept what he was offering.

Sephiroth huffed a laugh. "You -should- enjoy this, Cloud. I would be."

Cloud shook his head. "I'm not like that."

"Like me?"

"I'm nothing like you."

"But?"

"But what?"

Sephiroth strode up to him, white hair wicking like a flame behind him. Cloud couldn't help his reactive step backwards. A gloved hand swung up and hovered near his face. His breath caught in his throat. Suddenly the hand moved closer and almost touched him. Cloud flinched.

"Not going to stop me?"

"I should."

"But?"

Cloud bit his lip, trying to control his emotions, his reactions. He was quickly tiring of this game. That was what it was: a game. He'd expected mind-fucking but not of this type and that was probably his own fault, because of the desires he'd hidden away for years, only listening to them when he was away from accusing eyes. He wasn't supposed to feel this way about a monster.

"Sephiroth, I will never let you kill another soul as long as I live. Anything you think you could do to me, you better get it out of your head. I'm done watching people die. I'm done killing. You will never rule over me or anything ever again."

After a moment, the summon's hand dropped.

When Sephiroth merely watched him with his cat-like eyes, Cloud murmured, "Do you still want to continue this?"

White brows furrowed. Time suddenly seemed infinitely long, but it couldn't have been more than a minute before Sephiroth whispered, "Yes."

Cloud let out a breath and couldn't help but turn away and put a bit of welcome distance between them. "You're lucky I love you or this wouldn't even be happening," Cloud mumbled for his ears alone with a short humorless laughter.


	3. Chapter 3

At Cloud's laugh, knowing what he'd heard although Cloud had tried to mask it, Sephiroth leapt up and found a perch on the support beams that had once been part of a complete attic floor. He distanced himself because he knew the truth in the words, that Cloud believed them. That truth made him, well, quite uncomfortable. 

It was one thing to gain second hand knowledge of the fact that someone loved him. After all, he'd dealt with infatuation directed at him before. It was quite another to see it play out in another man's head as if they were his own thoughts. It was why he hadn't touched the man moments before. He didn't want to risk seeing Cloud's thoughts again.

This was surely fate laughing at him. 

Too often he'd depended on Cloud for his plans. He'd used the delusional man to gain access to the Black Materia. He'd used Cloud and his memories to stay whole, placing his mark on the man, using him as his leash to the living world. 

As weak as Cloud had always appeared to be, Sephiroth had always thought he could keep the upper hand, despite his initial death at the young trooper's hands. After all, in death, in his new life, he'd grown much stronger, so much so that he didn't even need materia to cast magic. 

In the end though, in defiance of his right to the planet, Cloud had possessed a strength that had beaten him to death, repeatedly. 

How could he have lost so much to a man who could barely keep his head together, who was so easy to manipulate? The logic wasn't there, but that didn't change the fact that it was true.

Well, that wasn't entirely true. Cloud couldn't have made the materia that pulled on his every thought and action. Man could only make materia with machinery and time. This hadn't been done by man. 

Wherever the materia had come from, Cloud was now the one who possessed it. 

Sephiroth glanced down and saw Cloud looking up at him. It made insides tighten that didn't really exist.

With just a thought, Cloud could do things to him, make him do things... The knowledge brought out as much fear as rage. He was sure if he listened closely enough, he'd have been able to hear Aeris' laughter, the same kind of laughter he'd given her when she'd fled from him in the lifestream.

Surely there was another person who could take the materia from Cloud. Even as he thought it, the idea made him feel ill. Who would do it? Who could he trust to do his will and not merely take advantage of the power he could still feel pulsing through him? As Cloud had already proven, Sephiroth had little sway in what he could and couldn't do with his own body. It was a hell of a time to start regretting plans that would have resulted in the destruction of a civilization and the people in it, including Cloud.

Sephiroth raked a hand through his hair. It amused him, only slightly, that it still felt like hair, that his scalp still felt the tug. He was sure if he'd tugged harder, he would have felt pain. But it was fake pain. He knew he couldn't die in this form. He could surely be called again and again, like any other summon. He growled at the thought. Memories of his past eroded any humor left in his mind. Memories of experiments, of pain, of people who had only seen him as an animal, a tool to be used. Only when he'd proven his use as a war machine, beyond being a mere oddity, did the scientists leave him alone, for the most part.

Now, so restricted, he realized he'd forgotten what it felt like to be a man, at a time when he was furthest from being one.

"Sephiroth... I need to head home." 

The hesitancy in the other man's voice bubbled up anger. The last thing he wanted was Cloud's pity. But along with the anger came alarm.

Home? He'd never had a place he would have called a 'home,' not the kind of place Cloud obviously meant. The absurdity of the situation hit him. Was he simply to walk in Cloud's home and say a hearty hello to the other residents, as if he hadn't tried to kill them? He could still see their faces in his mind, faces from Cloud's memories. He knew Tifa and Barret, the people who'd aided Cloud years ago, as well as one of the children he'd claimed with his stigma. The girl he didn't know and didn't care to.

When Cloud stayed quiet, he was sure the other man was having the same reservations. Really, the whole of it was absolutely absurd. Nonetheless, he dreaded going back into the materia. 

When he was inside, he knew nothing of the outside world. It was a prison without walls, without form, and no one else inside. The time he'd spent in there after Cloud had surely gone unconscious had nearly driven him insane with the need to find something tangible, and worse, his time inside couldn't have been longer than a few hours. He couldn't imagine spending longer stretches. 

Why hadn't he been aware before the moment Cloud had touched him? Then, he realized he wasn't supposed to be this way. Whatever had trapped him hadn't meant him to feel, to know. It was Cloud who had done this.

He looked back down at the other man and had to fight the useless urge to attack the other man, to release his rage to a satisfying end. Cloud was right: he'd go back inside the materia, and there was the chance he'd never come back out. The thought terrified him.

There had to be a way out of this. There had to be.

"Sephiroth?"

He hissed in a breath, a useless motion, but nonetheless a remnant of his past humanity. He wanted to avoid the situation, but he knew eventually Cloud would lose his patience.

He had to find a way out.

Slitted pupils looked to the sky. Stars littered the darkness, lone objects separated by distance and time. But they still had each other. He couldn't go back inside, refused to.

Sephiroth brought his body back down to the ground, his feet landing has if he weighed nothing. He looked at Cloud who watched him quietly. Then he found himself mad at his own anger. His anger was pointless without the ability to do a thing about it, outside of scream. And he hadn't come to that point yet.

Cloud smiled sadly at him.

Then again... "If you give me one more sorry look, I swear to everything in existence that I'll find a way to beat you to death."

Blonde brows flung upwards, then the other man let out a short-lived laugh, his smile truer. "I don't doubt that."

Sephiroth knew both of them doubted the ex-General's words, his ability to carry them out, but they helped him feel a little better.

Then Cloud was eyeing him, looking over his whole body, making him tense. If the other man thought he was getting anywhere with him at that moment, he had another thing coming. Then again, could he stop the other man had he wanted to? Unable to help himself, he hissed, "What are you looking at?"

Blue eyes met his. "You look... like, well, Sephiroth."

"I wonder why..."

"I mean, I can't take you home."

"You say that as if I was a pet."

"I don't mean it that way..." His had flexed on the orb in his hand. "I mean... I guess you can go back in the materia. That way - "

"No!" He could hear the fear in his own voice. It made him grit his teeth as soon as he'd said it.

Cloud's mouth closed and he frowned at him. After a moment, he said, "Okay... But I can't... I can't risk you hurting someone. You're going to have to stay with me or I'll put you back inside."

Coarse anger eroded his mind, a fight or flight response. The man threatened him as if he was a toddler needing discipline. He closed his eyes, trying to calm himself down, to show the man that he had nothing to fear... At least for the moment. Trying to put the man at ease, he looked at Cloud with the gentlest face he could manage and said, "I won't hurt anyone. What would be the point?"

"I'm sorry, but I can't take that risk."

Cloud didn't trust him in the least and he understood why. The knowledge made him smirk. Cloud's frown grew at the expression and the summon reeled it in.

Cloud gestured a hand at the whole of him, before slipping his riding gloves back on. "Still, I can't take you home looking like that." 

"I don't exactly have a wardrobe hidden away."

Cloud hummed a dismissal. As Cloud eyed him, he noticed a visible fluttering down his own body. He looked down as clothing, a sleeveless shirt and pants, much like Cloud's appeared, on his body in place of the uniform he knew so well. Cloud apparently had little imagination. But he was one to talk, wearing the same armor for years.

"This is getting more disturbing by the moment," Sephiroth muttered.

Cloud huffed a laugh. "I doubt it could get much worse."

"I don't."

A strange look appeared in Cloud's eyes, the man studying his face. Sephiroth involuntarily recoiled from it. Then Cloud smiled at him. It was a smile he hadn't seen on the other man since Cloud was a teenager under his command. He realized the smile was hope, an emotion he hadn't meant to give the other man.

Then Cloud was frowned at him again. "Your hair..."

Sephiroth touched it defensively, remembering its length, the way it flowed when he fought, the way it touched him like an embrace and, at times, with a stranglehold. 

But it also tagged him as who he was as nothing else did, at least from a distance. 

It was absurd to be protective over something so vain, but it'd been there his whole life, whether or not he took his clothes off or put Masamune to rest. Unable to help it, knowing Cloud could do something unsavory to the white locks, he hissed, "Don't you dare."

They both participated in the stare down for nearly a minute, before Cloud pocketed the materia said, "Fine, turn around. I don't think I can do it with a thought."

"Why?"

"I'll braid it. I have braided people's hair before."

Sephiroth had felt the urge to ask who, but it was silly to ask, as if it was any of his business. And he didn't want to know, not really. Slowly, he turned around. After all, the option was better than other things they could come up with. Then he jerked his head back around, remembering something. "Do you remember the last time we touched? This isn't a good idea."

Cloud's hand came to a stop, making no contact. "You're right." After a moment, the man sat down on the ground and smile weakly up at him. "In case I pass out again."

The man looked better down there, at his feet. Sephiroth returned the smile, but for a completely different reason. Cloud's smile increased, making Sephiroth realize that perhaps it was as simple as that. He just had to be nice to Cloud. The other man had said as much. Cloud just wanted him to be the man he imagined in his fantasies. Sephiroth could be that man if it meant gaining an advantage over the situation.

Stopping his thoughts, Cloud reached again and touched his leg. There was a pulse, a rush though his body that wasn't human, but then it faded. Cloud kept eye contact with him. The touch seemed to affect him in the same way, him flinching. But he didn't pass out and Sephiroth stayed in the physical world.

"I hope I don't feel that every time we..." Cloud's words faded as he looked down at his hand, fisting it. Then he stood up.

For nearly twenty minutes, the man struggled with the length of his hair, but thankfully got more sure with his motions when he'd reached the halfway point. Sephiroth felt every pull, tug, weave, and it drove him crazy. He'd never allowed anyone to touch his hair in such a way, not after he was old enough to care for it himself. Eventually though, when he'd calmed down enough, Cloud's motions almost became meditative in their quietness.

The man paused, but then moved a bit more and finally tied off his hair. "Don't lose that. It means a lot to me. I'll find something else when we get home."

Sephiroth looked behind himself and saw the pink ribbon that tied off his hair, before Cloud released it and it fell to hit his legs.

Turning back around, watching the other man, he knew Cloud's emotions suddenly dwelled elsewhere. "This isn't going to fool anyone."

Cloud smirked and looked up at him. "It's night time and no one really looks that close, unless you draw attention to yourself. Don't draw attention to yourself."

Sephiroth merely pursed his lips, then nodded. Then Cloud was walking away from him, probably expecting him to follow, which he did. There wasn't much choice.

Cloud turned his head to look him over again. "I suppose I could put a cloak on you, but it'd probably get caught in the wheel or something, and it'd probably glow as much as the rest of you. Not very concealing."

"Get caught in the wheel?" When they arrived outside, he understood. The motorcycle would force them to be close together. There would be little chance he could completely avoid touching him. "I think I'd rather walk."

"That'd take too much time, and I'm not pushing my bike that far."

"Then I'll fly."

"And risk someone seeing you?" He mounted his motorcycle without hesitation. "Let's go."

Sephiroth studied the other man who tried to avoid eye contact. Then, against his better judgment, he mounted the motorcycle, taking a seat behind Cloud, bringing his braid around to pool between his legs. Again, the charge raged through their bodies. This time, he didn't allow them to separate, putting his hands at Cloud's waist. If that was going to happen every time they touched, it was better to just hold him for the time being. But when he didn't move away, he heard Cloud's breaths pick up. 

His chin near the smaller man's ear, he could have breathed in the scent of him. Curious, having not paid attention to scent in the last hour, he tried it. His hair smelled of soap. He decided liked the scent. His drawing of breath only made Cloud's breath heavier.

"Maybe we shouldn't... Never mind." His whole body tense, Cloud placed his goggles over his eyes that had been at his neck, started the motorcycle, and took off down the rubble-ridden street, seeming to try to get away from him, but that was a pointless effort if true.

By the time they reached Edge, Cloud had calmed down a bit. Sephiroth had taken to hiding his head behind Cloud's head to avoid the blinding wind. They traveled down nearly barren streets until he pulled up to a garage that had opened at the touch of a button on his keys.

Sephiroth dismounted and stood close by as he watched the garage door close.

Cloud was off after him and said over his shoulder, "Wait here for a minute."

True to his word, he was only gone about a minute, but when he came back, he was holding a cloak. "Here, just put this on. I'm not really ready to deal with it if someone sees you. I'd still like to live here, at least for tonight."

The words got Sephiroth frowning, as he slipped the fabric on. Cloud was prepared to risk being ostracized for him, to give him a 'chance'? Although he only had the barest hints as to what it was like to have a family, the closest he had to family being friends he'd kept at a distance, the thought left him unsettled.

Quietly, they entered the townhouse and walked directly to a room on the upper floor without confrontation. The summon removed the cloak and sat down in the chair Cloud pointed to. He left Sephiroth there for several minutes before he heard his voice in the hallway.

"Yeah, I just got caught up doing a job. I talk to you about it in the morning. Good night, Tifa."

"Okay... Good night."

Cloud reentered the bedroom with a plate of food in his hand, closing the door behind him, but stopped when he saw Sephiroth. The man watched him for several long moments before he seemed to gather his wits. Then he sat down on the bed, trying to avoid eye contact while he ate, but not succeeding all that well.

Sephiroth didn't have the same problem, watching Cloud blatantly. He tried to find the same anger he'd felt towards the man before, but couldn't really. He found it interesting that when he didn't attack, the other man showed him absolutely no aggression. It seemed like it should have been obvious, but he couldn't help but be confused by the fact. He remembered the past, a past he'd tried to be rid of, but apparently he hadn't succeeded, or perhaps Cloud had put the knowledge back in him. It didn't really matter where the knowledge came from, since it was there either way. Cloud should have hated him as Sephiroth had himself hated so much. But he didn't.

Cloud finished his plate and put it on the end table next to the bed. He started taking off his boots, but then paused looking up at him. The man looked at him with a heat he wasn't prepared for. Sephiroth couldn't help but look away. When he refused to make eye contact, Cloud kept removing his boots and then his coat. He threw it on a nearby plush chair in the corner.

When Cloud stopped moving, Sephiroth could feel his eyes on him. Gathering up courage he should have had in the first place, he looked the other man back in the eye. Cloud offered him a weak smile. 

"I never thought..." Cloud shook his head, laughing lightly at himself, laying down.

Sephiroth frowned. "Never thought what?"

Cloud looked at him for a long moment, then snorted. "What does it matter? I never thought I'd actually get you into my bedroom."

Sephiroth didn't know how to react to the words, didn't know if Cloud was expecting him to. What could he do about them anyway? It wasn't as if he could get it up. Could he? Even if he could have, how could it even be the same as when he was human?

"I think I'm going to try to go to sleep."

Sleep? Sephiroth knew he'd go back inside the materia with Cloud unconscious. The knowledge brought instant fear. But what could he do about it? He couldn't keep Cloud awake forever.

"What's wrong?"

He focused back on Cloud. "Nothing..." When Cloud continued his questioning stare, he offered, "I'm just... not ready for it."

"Ready for what?"

"To go back inside."

"Oh... What's it like?"

Sephiroth shook his head, trying to be rid of the memories, but not succeeding with the inevitable so close. "It's just... nothing. There's nothing there."

"Oh... I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?"

"This is my fault. I shouldn't have touched you. I think..." He put his hands over his face, rubbing it. "When I touched you, it did something. When I first called you, you were like any other summon."

Sephiroth looked away and took to playing with the braid before he pulled the ribbon off of the end. He stood up and walked to the bed, offering the piece of fabric back. "Here."

Cloud looked at the offering, but grabbed his hand instead. Sephiroth sucked in his breath.

"I'm sorry, I really am." The man looked up at him with so much feeling, remorse and love mixed together. 

Why hadn't he noticed these emotions before? Then again, he had noticed them, but hadn't cared to call them what they were, unwilling to consort with a teenager that was barely legal. It hadn't been the first time. Sephiroth remembered the way Cloud had looked at him years ago before he'd destroyed his home, his life. His expression was the same now, trying to please him, filled with adoration.

But now, with so much between them, things were different, too different. What kind of relationship could they possibly hope for, even if they'd both wanted it? Cloud was hoping for too much.

Suddenly, Cloud pulled him closer by his arm. He raised himself onto an elbow, his face coming dangerously close. The man wanted him to kiss him. The idea was absurd. Why? Why would he ever want to kiss him?

The hand that had been pulling his hand was suddenly pulling at his neck, renewing a flash of energy he was growing used to. He watched Cloud's softened face as Cloud slowly kissed his mouth, lips only slightly parted, but they were as soft as his face.

Blue eyes closed, as Cloud continued the beggings of his mouth, trying to encourage Sephiroth to respond. The touches felt good. They brought a heat that was surely just in his head, but he felt it nonetheless. What would it hurt to kiss back?

When he lets his mouth move in union with Cloud's, Cloud's moan was instantaneous. The kiss stayed chaste only for a moment longer, before the kiss became deeper. Cloud shifted off of his elbow, laying down on the bed, bringing Sephiroth to bend farther down. But Sephiroth was too tall to gain much contact. So, Cloud scooted over, bringing Sephiroth to him until the summon laid on the bed next to him, both men on their sides. Then Cloud was at the ex-General's mouth again, kissing him, holding the back of Sephiroth's head so that he couldn't move away without a fight.

Sephiroth kissed him until he realized the fruitlessness of their efforts, especially when Cloud only wanted more. Pulling back, making Cloud groan, he whispered, "I don't think this can go any further. Even if I wanted it to."

Cloud blinked at him, desire drenching his face, making Sephiroth feel absurdly guilty. This wasn't the manipulation he'd planned on. This was careless, reckless, uncontrollable, and wouldn't give either of them what they were looking for.

A whisper, Cloud murmured, "Do you want it to?"

Sephiroth swallowed at the words. 

Why had he focused on Cloud so much over the years, used him in his plans, come back to him time after time, practically begging for the same punishment to wreck his body? 

Cloud watched him quietly, waiting. Finally, the ex-General whispered back, "Yes."

If he was honest with himself, he knew he meant it. 

At the word, Cloud was at his mouth again, wanting. But finally, moments later, he merely took to resting his forehead against Sephiroth's. "Are you just messing me?"

The question bothered him more than the first one, since it contained more than merely a feeling of desire. He should be messing with Cloud. Why was he letting this happen, something he had let happen ages ago but just hadn't admitted to it? 

"No."

Cloud kissed him again, briefly, but then took to just laying with him. He couldn't tell if Cloud believed him. But it didn't matter. He didn't want Cloud to believe it because he'd meant it without meaning to.

Later, resting together in the same position, Cloud whispered, "I'm sorry, I don't think I can stay awake much longer."

"Stop telling me you're sorry. Just go to sleep." 

Soon, Cloud's breathing evened out. As much as he resisted it, he felt the pull of the materia and couldn't stop the reclaiming. All he could do was pray that Cloud would wake back up soon.


	4. Chapter 4

Reemerging in the only armor Cloud had ever seen him wear, Sephiroth barely even acknowledged him before he turned to look out the window onto the morning bustle on the streets below the second story window. After the summoning, Cloud took to watching the man a short distance away, sitting on his bed, the materia in his hand because he couldn't hold the man himself. Sephiroth held none of the warmth he'd had only hours before. Cloud could have imagined why, but he knew he'd only be guessing, so he didn't bother.

He wished he had stayed awake longer. It had felt... so unbelievably good to have Sephiroth next to him, touching him, kissing him. Now, he feared he'd never get the chance again.

But perhaps it was better this way. Cloud couldn't bear the thought of merely being a means to an end to this man. Surely that was all he was, all he had ever been.

Had he not pushed it, he knew Sephiroth wouldn't have even touched him. After all, the ex-general never had before, at least outside of a byproduct of the intent of bodily harm. Without a doubt, he also knew if Sephiroth hadn't been in this controlled state, he would have left the moment he'd 'awoken'.

A knock sounded at the door and Cloud jerked his head towards the wood, as did Sephiroth.

"Cloud, breakfast is ready," a childish female voice said.

"Okay, thank you, Marlene," Cloud replied, trying to keep the sudden tension out of his voice. 

When he heard quiet footsteps pad away, he looked back to Sephiroth. The other man was looking down at the floor, his mind visibly working. Cloud himself couldn't stop the flooding dread, despite the fact that he knew the call of life was inevitable.

What were they going to do? Now that he understood more about Sephiroth's new existence, the guilt he felt wouldn't let him willingly force the other man back inside. There were only so many other options.

He could have attempted to restrain him with thought and left him alone, but without a certain degree of constant concentration, Sephiroth would be free to do as he wished, just like any other summon. The difference was: Sephiroth would have personal intent behind his actions, whereas a normal summon would only be following its master's last desire.

They could have just sucked it up, others' reactions be damned. But that didn't take the others into consideration. He'd made Sephiroth's and his own lives miserable enough. He didn't need to bring the world into it.

"Maybe... Maybe we should just leave." He looked to Sephiroth. "Everyone here is just starting to get their lives back together. It's not right to..."

"To force them to look at me?" Sephiroth offered, his voice cold.

"Yeah."

The white-haired man smirked, but the expression held little humor. Then he took to eyeing the younger swordsman, then down his own body. "Well, if my clothing can be changed, then surely anything about my appearance can be. After all, I'm not really here, am I?"

Cloud frowned at the last comment. If only Sephiroth wasn't there... He mentally shook his head at the pointless thought, and said, "You're right. But you'd still glow. And besides that, anyone who knows how to use materia, the energy it creates, well, they'll be able to feel something is up. And if they touch you..." He didn't know what would happen if someone else touched him, nor did he want to find out, for various reasons. "It would be easier if we just left."

Sephiroth crossed his arms, turning around to face Cloud straight on. "You would give up your home for me? ...Again?"

The intensity in the other man's face forced Cloud to look away. "I didn't give up my home back then. You took it away." 

Cloud felt an anger rise. Remembering the past at that moment wouldn't help keep them safe. Besides, he wasn't giving that man a chance. He was giving the chance to the man who'd existed before the destruction of his home town. He knew the man was there in the summon. He had to be. And if he wasn't, this was all for not. 

Whatever the case, Cloud was prepared to take the risk because he had one thing he could offer Sephiroth, a bonus from all of the hell he and the world had gone through: he could offer the truth. He could only hope the truth, coupled with Sephiroth's ability to reason, would settle the man's rage.

Blue eyes looked back to the man he loved. Unlike the Sephiroth of a few weeks ago, this Sephiroth was so much the man he remembered. So far, all of Sephiroth's reactions had been, well, reasonable, reacting in ways he himself would have done. Furthermore, the other man had made no claims to the planet and hadn't even mentioned his 'mother'. 

Perhaps his touch had done more than he realized. Sephiroth had said he'd seen what was in his mind, his feelings for the ex-General. Perhaps he'd seen much more than he was admitting. Then again, perhaps Sephiroth didn't even realize the changes Cloud noticed.

Cloud blew out a breath, trying to dismiss the thoughts, and said, "Look, I'm going to take a quick shower and then head down to breakfast. I guess you can either come with me or go back inside."

When Sephiroth gritted his teeth, Cloud's humor deadened a bit at the idea that the other man didn't even like the first option.

Finally though, the white-haired man said, "I'll come with you."

"Okay..." 

Cloud grabbed his towel and a change of clothes, then, feeling a bit childish, peeked out the door to be sure no one was in the hallway and the bathroom was open. Then he led the ex-General to the other room and closed the door behind them. 

Wait, how was he supposed to do this with Sephiroth in the room? When Sephiroth merely watched him, his face serious, Cloud felt heat brush over his face. 

Instead of facing the man in the small bathroom, he stepped inside of the shower, pulled the curtain, and quickly stripped down, tossing the articles outside onto the floor. He tried not to make a sound when ice cold water hit him, but didn't succeed much.

"Cloud... You know I've seen you naked before. You're acting like a shy schoolgirl."

"God, just shut-up."

Then he heard the other man chuckle and it was music to his ears. Unlike a schoolgirl, he felt himself harden involuntarily. He did his best to will it away, scrubbing quickly, and washing his hair with little tenderness. Then he turned off the water and grabbed his towel, wiping off quickly before wrapping it around his waist.

When he drew the curtain, Sephiroth was looking right at him, his face still serious, but this time it held emotion Cloud didn't want to put a name to and risk tenting the towel. He realized, behind the white curtain, Sephiroth had probably seen every motion and every limb he had.

"Please, just stop looking at me."

"But I thought this was what you wanted, Cloud."

Eyes closed, Cloud ground his teeth at his frustration and pain. Why was the man trying to hurt him? Surely he didn't deserve this. What had he done to deserve this? 

Lost in his misery, he didn't realize Sephiroth had walked up to him until he was almost pressed against him, but nonetheless far enough away to not touch. The summon was too damn quiet.

Feeling on the verge of tears, Cloud tried to plead for some mercy, saying, "Sephiroth, I don't know how much of this I can handle. I'm trying, but..."

Cascades of white hair swung as the other man tilted his head. "Where did all of your strength go that impressed me so much?"

"Killing you and loving you are two separate things."

Sephiroth smiled at that. His hand came up, hesitating a bit, but then touched his cheek. Cloud sucked in his breath at the energy and heat that intertwined inside of him. After a moment, Sephiroth whispered, "Your mind is an interesting place."

Cloud huffed a laugh. "Maybe, but it's hell to live in there."

The touch turned into a caress. It was all Cloud could do to not react. He didn't want to play this game, so why wasn't he shoving the other man away?

"You fight yourself so much."

"You're not giving me much choice."

Sephiroth smirked, his hand starting down his neck, Cloud's eyes closing, his head tilting slightly. "You have all the choice in the world right now."

Cloud grabbed the hand before it could brush against his nipple. "You know what, you're right." Breathing heavily, he looked up to the white-haired man. "But I'm trying to give you choices as well. You don't have to do this to get what you want."

The words stopped Sephiroth as the man frowned down at him.

"Just turn around and let me get dressed."

After a moment, the man backed away and Cloud let his hand go, but instead of turning around, the man merely leaned against the door.

"What are you doing?"

"You said you're giving me choices, and I choose this. You're going to deny me?"

Cloud's mouth opened a bit, but nothing came out. If he hadn't been blushing before, surely he was now. He felt the tent erect itself under the other man's intense gaze. Finally, he blurted out, "This isn't what I meant."

"Cloud, I think we're well beyond false modesty."

"Good God, will you just turn around?"

"No."

His chest heaving far more than he would have liked, he hissed, "Fine, I'll turn around."

"As if that would bother me."

Despite himself, Cloud burst out laughing, half because he did find it funny, half because he needed the stress relief. After all, he was about ready to pull his own hair out. Cloud suddenly had to question whether or not Zack had been lying to him, or perhaps didn't know the truth. This man was not acting like a virgin.

With Sephiroth smirking at him, Cloud pulled on the ribbed sleeveless shirt over his head, then paused for a moment and released the towel at his waist. He did his best to ignore his partial hard-on, feeling Sephiroth's continued stare, and yanked his underwear and pants over damp legs. Finally, he sat on the toilet and put his socks on.

"See, that wasn't so... hard."

Cloud tried to glare but didn't succeed completely when Sephiroth only grinned. This was a side of Sephiroth he'd never seen before. Of course, back then, he'd been young, merely a Sephiroth groupie. And after that, they'd spent most of their time trying to kill each other, with Sephiroth using him for his own diabolical purposes along the way. Now... Now they had nothing but time on their hands. And Sephiroth was probably just amusing himself in the few ways he could at Cloud's expense.

Standing up, trying to show down a man much taller than himself, Cloud growled, "You said last night that you weren't messing with me. Yet you keep doing it. I'm not finding this funny in the least."

Unexpectedly, Sephiroth straightened to full height, the man showing the first traces of anger Cloud had seen all day. The reaction alarmed Cloud because he didn't know what caused it, although perhaps it was as simple as the man reacting to his own anger. "And how exactly would you have me react to all of this? Would you prefer it if I terrorized you? Would that make you feel better about putting me back in there and forgetting about me?" The white-haired man shook his head. "As if you could anyway. You're as attached to me as I am to you."

"Attached to me?"

Aquamarine eyes blinked, the man seeming to realize what he'd said. He shook his head again, but remained silent, refusing to say any more.

Cloud frowned, trying to figure out the meaning behind it. It couldn't be as simple as it had sounded.

Suddenly, Sephiroth murmured, "When did we become so attached to each other, Cloud? I'm not even sure."

"I... I don't know." He remembered when he'd first become infatuated with the other man, after hearing the stories of the great General, after meeting the man in person. But that wasn't the same emotion that shoved them together now, whether they liked it or not.

"Cloud, are you coming down?" Tifa called upstairs.

"Ah, yeah, I'll be down in a minute," Cloud said, just loud enough for her to hear clearly. Cloud bent over and picked up his laundry. "I guess... Who do you want to look like?"

Sephiroth let out a short laugh. White brows furrowed. "I suppose..." Cat-like eyes closed. Then the man fluttered with a mix of colors. His face changed shape, becoming younger, with stronger features. His body shortened slightly. White hair turned black, shortening until it was just past his shoulders. His armor and coat formed into a shirt similar to Cloud's. Brown, calf-high boots replaced black ones. The man almost reminded Cloud of Zack, but they definitely weren't the same person. Cloud could have sworn he'd seen him before, but couldn't place the face.

"Who is that?"

The unfamiliar face smiled slightly, almost sadly. His voice huskier than before, he murmured, "Someone I once knew."

"Oh..." Cloud felt something he didn't want to call jealousy. Was that the man who... Trying to get rid of the train of thought, he asked, "Does he have a name? I mean, we can't go around calling you Sephiroth."

"Angeal."

"And no one will recognize him?"

"No one here would."

"Okay..." 

Sephiroth looked at him and then frowned. Before he could say anything, Cloud walked past him and back to his bedroom where he deposited his laundry in the basket to be done later. The ex-General followed.

"Let's get this over with."

Sephiroth nodded and they walked downstairs. When Cloud entered the room, he immediately opened the curtains to their fullest extent, hoping that would help banish the summon's glow. The people seated at the table followed his movements, the older ones frowning a bit at the odd behavior before they turned back and noticed the second man standing in the doorway.

"Oh. Cloud, I didn't know you have company." Tifa stood up, smiling at Sephiroth. "Is he your..."

"Job? No. He's...."

Barret stood up, motioning to an empty chair. "Hey, sit here. We'll get another plate for ya." When Sephiroth started to shake his head, Barret encouraged, "Don't go worryin' about it. We always have leftovers anyway."

Sephiroth smiled although his expression was a bit pained. "Umm, I'm not all that hungry. Thank you though."

"Well, come sit down anyway." Tifa said, sitting down again, still smiling. "We always welcome more company at the table."

Cloud sat down and turned to look at the man still standing in the doorway for several long moments. Finally, Sephiroth walked to the table and sat down stiffly. It wasn't until then that Tifa lost a bit of her smile. Then a frown started to take over. Watching it happen, Cloud blurted out, "So, yeah, were you guys at the same site yesterday?"

It took a second before Tifa turned her gaze onto Cloud. "Ah, yeah, we got quite a bit done actually. The family is getting ready to move back in later this week. They're glad to do it too. Two families can only live together for so long in a three bedroom apartment before they start to drive each other crazy."

"Not like us though," Marlene chimed in. "We'd never get sick of each other."

Tifa grinned at her. "Nope, we couldn't get rid of each other if we tried."

Marlene stuck her tongue out a bit. "You say that as if that's a bad thing."

"Now how could that ever be a bad thing," Tifa murmured, still grinning, running a hand through the girl's hair.

"Yo, Cloud, you didn't introduce us to your friend," Barret said between a bite, his plate almost cleaned off.

"Uh, this is Angeal. We, ah..."

Tifa's brows rose, then she smiled again, probably trying to keep her ideas of what their relationship entailed out of the minds of the children. "Oh, well, I'm glad to see you're making friends."

Denzel perked up at the words. "Oh, maybe you two can come to our game then. We're playing the kids from the east side."

Cloud stole a look to Sephiroth before he said, "Of course we'd like to come. But I think it'll have to be another one. We have some plans today."

The boy sunk back into his seat. "Oh, okay..."

Cloud felt a sudden pang of guilt. He'd been trying to be a father figure to Denzel, ever since the boy had become attached to him, but he knew his off and on behavior did little to satisfy him. He was glad the boy had Marlene, as well as Tifa and Barret. But the boy still always hoped for more of his attention. 

Cloud's heart chilled when the obvious became apparent. Little did Denzel and the others know was that the newcomer seated at the table was the man responsible for Denzel almost dying. On top of the other three adults being indirectly responsible for the boy's parents' deaths, Denzel wasn't in the best of company.

When Cloud looked back up from his plate after flicking around pieces of hash browns he couldn't will himself to consume, he noticed the staring contest going on between Tifa and Sephiroth.

Still watching him, she said, "Cloud, could I talk to you for a minute?"

He'd known this would happen but he'd also hoped for a bit of luck. Standing up, he said, "Yeah, sure."

She stood up with him and walked into the living room. He followed a few steps behind. When she turned around, she looked more confused than furious. Cloud knew then that she had no clue who was in there.

"Cloud... Who or what is that?"

The swordsman looked back into the dining room and met Sephiroth's eyes. He couldn't find a speck of emotion in the man's face, leaving him on his own to decide what to do.

"Cloud? You're starting to scare me. Is he a danger to us? To the kids?"

Hearing her words, he felt a pang of fear. She was right. He was putting all of them, the people he cared about most in the world, in unnecessary danger. Blue eyes met brown ones. He tried to smile to ease her fears, but he knew it wasn't working.

"Tifa, I'm going to have to leave for a while."

"A while? How long is that exactly? Knowing you, it could be months. Or a year even..." Her words drifted off as Cloud grew tenser. "...Or more? Cloud, seriously, what's going on? Don't... Don't shut us out. If we can help you, you know we're always here for you."

"If I thought this was something you could help me with, of course, I'd ask you."

"Try me."

Cloud huffed out a laugh, smiling sadly. "Tifa, you've been my friend since we were kids. Even when no one else wanted to be my friend. Do you remember my promise to you?"

Tifa smiled, touching his arm. "Of course, I do. And you've fulfilled that promise more times than I can count."

"Well, I'm going to do it again by keeping you out of this."

The woman's head began to shake, her smile completely lost. "Please, Cloud, tell me what's going on."

"If I told you, you'd hate me."

"No, no, I'd never hate you." When he looked away, she chided, "You know why, right? Because anything you could do, I know you think it's the right thing to do."

"Tell that to the people we've killed, Tifa."

Her full mouth tightened into a hard line. "At some point, Cloud, people have to forgive themselves and just try to be better."

"Do you really believe that?"

"Of course I do."

Cloud pointed to the man still sitting at the table. "If you knew who that is, you'd never, never try to make me believe that again. But you know what, I do believe you."

Again, Tifa looked at the man at her dining room table, brown eyes meeting brown eyes. A genuine fear melted her previous concern. She shook her head until the movement became almost violent. Tears and horror strained her voice as she hissed, "No... Cloud... Tell me it's not him."

There was only one 'him' she could have meant. When he didn't reply, she stalked into the room, ushered the two questioning children past Cloud, ordered them to get their shoes on, and forced them out the front door. Turning her head, she growled, "How dare you bring him into our home."

When the door slammed shut, Barret was standing at the table, his mouth gapping slightly, clearly not having a clue as to what had just happened. Finally, he managed, "Cloud, what's goin' on here?"

Still watching the door, knowing it would never open again, unless she was coming back to beat them both to death, he said, "I just made a mistake."

"Oh, well, she'll get over it. She always does."

Cloud huffed a humorless laugh. "Yeah. Most of the time." He turned and walked back into the dining room. "I'm going to have to leave for a while. I'll have my phone on me though, if you guys need me."

"Yeah, okay. We'll just be doin' the same old shit. You'll still have lots of work waitin' for you when you get back."

"Sounds good." He walked over and gave Barret a hug.

The man hugged back briefly, but muttered, "Man, I hope you're not goin' for _that_ long."

"We'll see. Watch out for her and Denzel for me, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah." Then Barret was frowning at Sephiroth who'd stayed completely silent through most of breakfast.

Cloud gripped Sephiroth's shoulder, muttering, "Come on, let's go."

Sephiroth stood, watching Barret as he walked past, as Barret watched him. Finally, before they broke eye contact, the man smiled. "Take care."

"Yeah... you too."

A fury growing in the pit of his stomach, Cloud stalked up the stairs and into his room. He put together a bag of clothes and other essentials. Finally, he pocketed the materia in his coat and slipped it back on, and looked to Sephiroth. While getting his things together, he growled, "Sephiroth, we're going to find a way out of this. There's got to be someone who knows how to crack a materia. We'll set you free and then, well, whatever happens happens. If I have to fucking kill you again, then whatever. I'll rip your fucking head off, if I have to. Any complaints, problems, smart-ass remarks?"

Quiet, unmoving, except for the turns of his head to watch Cloud's rampage, Sephiroth listened to him and then shook at the question. Cloud tried to keep his rage, but when brown eyes only watched his, he sat down on the bed and buried his face in his hands.

"God, I feel like I'm the crazy one."

"Crazy?"

He looked back up, eyeing the other man. "Yeah, crazy. You were crazy. You slaughtered how many people? You called an alien your mother when your real mother was crying for you in a mako tomb. You killed Aeris in front of me, the only other person in this world who would have tried to help you. You tried to use the planet as a 'vessel', for fuck's sake! Tell me you remember all of that because everyone else sure as hell does!"

The other man crossed his arms over his chest, looking to the ground, quiet. Cloud took to just watching him, wondering again why he was bothering with all of this. Was what he felt for Sephiroth really more important than everything else? It couldn't be, so why couldn't he stop this irrationality. Perhaps he really was crazy.

"You say she would have helped me..."

"She tried to save everyone, not just you."

"I met her, before I met Zack even. She... She made me smile. But she didn't know who I was. She..." The man grew tense and walked back to the window.

Tense himself, Cloud asked, "She what?"

The ex-General refused to answer him. After several minutes, both men lost in their own minds, Sephiroth turned his head to look at him, expressionless. "She's brought friends."


	5. Chapter 5

At Sephiroth's words, Cloud rushed over to the window and pushed a bit at Sephiroth to get a view, just in time to see Tifa, Reno, and Rude enter the door the woman had previously escaped through with the children. Drifting upstairs, he could hear the conversation, then arguing going on downstairs, although they were obviously trying to keep it down.

"Great..." He looked up at Sephiroth who, in turn, looked down at him. "I'm sorry, but you're going to have to go back inside. I have to talk to them and you being here isn't going to help the situation. I'm not going to have them chasing us around the planet."

"How is putting me back in - "

"I don't have time to argue with you."

In an instant, for the first time since the day before, Sephiroth radiated with a fight that was probably part instinctual, part training, and part from fear and fury. Cloud refused to pay it any heed and returned the summon to the orb. He could deal with a pissed off Sephiroth later.

Breathing hard from mental exertion alone, he grabbed his bag and stalked down the stairs before the other people had even come to a decision on how to best approach a man who'd defeated the most powerful man in the world multiple times. By the time he reached the bottom, the others were silent and looking at him.

Tifa saw his bag and took a step forward. "Cloud, they're here to help. I don't know what Sephiroth has told you, but he can't be trusted. If you give me the materia, Reeve has promised to make sure no one ever uses it again."

"Yeah, the WRO are the only ones that can make sure that happens," Reno said, stepping forward as well.

Tifa looked to the redhead briefly then nodded. "Reeve said they have ways to destroy it."

Cloud shook his head. "And release him again? Did you ever think he was put inside for a reason?" The words ignored what he'd told Sephiroth only minutes before, but telling them that wouldn't help his argument.

"Well, there are places to get rid of the thing. Deep holes." Reno sized up the depth with his hands. "You know. Use your imagination."

"Cloud, please, how can any of us ever feel safe if you have that?"

He knew Tifa was questioning his stability and he didn't blame her. In fact, he completely understood. He himself had been questioning his sanity mere minutes before. Nonetheless, he wasn't about to turn the materia over to the very people that, only years before, would have definitely used the orb for malicious purposes. Today, he couldn't be quite as sure, but there was always the risk. 

Besides, even if they didn't use it, he knew the state Sephiroth was in. The man was probably already cursing him a thousand times over. Over time, the man would surely go completely insane. He couldn't allow that to happen when there was a chance he could bring Sephiroth back. He wanted to bring him back. He couldn't abandon him, despite his conflicting thoughts. 

When it came down to it, there was only one choice. The question was: Was he willing to fight for that choice?

"Tifa, I'm sorry, but I'm going to leave and I'm going to find a way to put this right." He tried to smile at her. "Have some faith in me."

Reno stepped beyond her. "Look, the choice isn't hers or yours. We're under orders, man. You need to turn that thing over or someone's going to get hurt. And it will be you. Even if you walk away today, you'll never have a moment's peace. Think about it."

Cloud watched Rude take a step towards Tifa. Reno reached inside of his pocket and picked out a syringe with a liquid inside, removing the cap with the other. Rude pulled out something similar. He knew it wasn't meant for him. If it'd been that simple to take out someone like him with a tranquilizer or whatever other concoction they had in there, they could have done the same thing to Sephiroth years ago and called it a day. It was all a threat. In watching his next move, they were giving him a choice.

"Cloud, please." The woman's brown eyes begged. "I don't want you to get hurt."

Oh, the ways they could hurt him and never cut him. 

Rude shook his head, his syringe held in both hands in front of him so that Cloud could see it. "You don't want the world after you. Look at what it did to Sephiroth."

Cloud looked to Barret, the only person in the room who hadn't said anything yet. The man's face was unreadable, nonetheless, he could feel the pain coming off of his friend. Slowly, Barret started to shake his head.

"There are reinforcements coming, Cloud. Just-Just give it to me," Reno growled, the man obviously becoming impatient with his non-compliance and the idea of failing his objective.

Then out of nowhere, their eyes still locked, Barret burst out with a laugh. "Damn, Cloud, you gotta brain in that spikey head of yours?"

Tifa whipped her head to look at Barret before the large man grabbed Reno's hand and shoved the syringe right into his stomach. Quick acting, the redhead's pulse already racing, the man was down in a second, paralyzed. In the next moment, Rude stormed Tifa, grabbing her arm. She twirled around and punched the man several times in the chest and stomach while his other arm swung out and managed to jab her in her own arm, Tifa probably not realizing he'd had it. She fell on top of him, her forward momentum keeping her going, both of them ending up in tangle of legs and arms.

When Cloud merely stood there, not quite believing what he'd seen, Barret hollered, "Get the hell outta here, you ass, before I realize how stupid this is and take ya down myself!"

After a quick shake of his head, and a silent 'thank you' to Barret, Cloud started to the garage. Rude managed to shove Tifa off and grab Cloud's leg as he ran past him. As Cloud kept running as if nothing had touched him, it proved to be a silly move, but the Turk was clearly desperate. 

Calling after him, Rude hollered, "Don't do this!"

"I don't have a choice," Cloud said, more for himself than the people in the room, digging into his pocket and tossing his cellphone onto the floor, killing their ability to track him. He'd have to buy another one that wouldn't be attached to his name. He mounted his motorcycle, opened the garage with a push of the button, and took off down the street. 

Right away, he wished it wasn't daytime, especially when he heard a helicopter closing in from above. He heard a ping on his motorcycle right before he turned a corner and realized they were actually shooting at him. He traveled down narrow streets at blazing speeds a normal human would have been incapable of, zigzagging until he'd come to the outskirts of the city. By then, helicopter was distant, searching, but he knew he was out of danger for the time being. He sped up the hillside, taking back roads a normal vehicle wouldn't have managed, familiar with the area from his time as a courier. 

When Edge was a blotch in the horizon, he skidded his motorcycle to a halt and looked back to what he had lost. But he knew then that he couldn't leave it behind, at least not yet. Tifa had said someone there knew how to open materia. He had to find out who it was, where they were, and most importantly, what they knew. But for now, he needed to wait until nightfall before he attempted to reenter the city. With any luck, it'd be the last thing they'd expect him to do.

There was only one thing to do for the time being: Call Sephiroth back out. He dreaded doing it as much as he had the day before, but now for very different reasons. However, this time, he knew he couldn't keep the man hidden away for weeks.

Gathering his courage, he took it out of his pocket. His hands trembled, annoying him. Was he really the strongest person in the world? It was a scary thought.

Cloud dismounted and sat down on the dirt, cradling the orb, dismissing the notion that his dark clothing would need some serious brushing off when he stood back up. The ball looked so innocent, unspeaking of the horrors inside, namely a Sephiroth that probably wanted to chop his ass up.

The man blew out a breath and summoned the man within. When the man formed in front of him, the first thing Sephiroth did was find him, which wasn't difficult considering he was right in front of Cloud. Oddly enough, the man didn't seem particularly pissed off. In fact...

White hair swung about, the man probably trying to figure out where they were. When he caught side of Edge towards the horizon behind him, he turned back around and looked back down to Cloud. 

When the other man merely stared at him, Cloud murmured, "You're not going to say anything?"

"What is there to say? If it was to my advantage, I would have done the same."

"...Okay?" 

Cloud didn't want to think it, didn't feel he could trust the notion, but he could swear what he sensed from the man was fear and not selfish fear. 

However, the notion was basically confirmed when Sephiroth finally asked, "Are you all right? Did they..."

Cloud shook his head, smiling a smile he couldn't stop completely, nor could he stop a sudden warmth at the words. "I'm fine."

Sephiroth gave him one final look over. "Good." Then Sephiroth smiled back. "If anyone's going to torture you to death, it's going to be me."

Cloud huffed a laughed. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

"But next time, let me..."

Cloud shook his head. "If you showed any aggression right now, the world would beat us both down until we were begging for death."

Sephiroth stood still for many moments, clearly digesting the thought. Finally, he shook his head with a short-lived chuckle, looking to the distance. "The world doesn't need nor want me, does it?"

"Sephiroth... I'm sure you know the answer to that." Cloud sighed, pocketing the materia. "But if it makes you feel better, the world doesn't really need any of us. We're just passengers on a train. Eventually we'll get to our destination. Until then, well, it can be a hell of a ride." 

The words reminded him of Barret and suddenly he feared for the man's fate. Knowing the Turks, it could be an unsavory one, but surely not a death sentence, not if they didn't want Cloud crashing down on them. He looked to the sky. It was still around ten hours until nightfall.

After another sigh that only managed to work his muscles into knots, Cloud retold the events to Sephiroth, informing him as to the situation they were in.

"There may be someone in Edge who can free you, but we have to find out who they are first."

"And that's what you want to do? Free me?"

Cloud frowned at the other man. "We-we can't live like this. You don't want to stay in there, do you?" When Sephiroth didn't answer right away, he was left confused.

"If I leave the materia, if I do survive it, then the only thing left for me is to reenter the lifestream."

"You fear death?"

Sephiroth huffed a laugh, shaking his head. "I've died many times. I know what it's like. No, that doesn't scare me. But..." He looked back down at Cloud, eyeing him, making the younger man uncomfortable because he didn't know what was going on in the beautiful man's head.

Finally, Cloud couldn't stand the silence any longer. "But what?"

"It would take me a year to try to explain it."

"Well, we have at least nine hours and nothing else to do."

Sephiroth smirked, and then turned and walked a short distance away, saying, "No, you're right. We can't live like this."

That was a copout if Cloud had ever heard one. The younger man stood up and walked up to the other man, touching an arm that wasn't really there. "Sephiroth... I'll do this for as long as it takes. That's what you want, right? For me to suffer?"

Sephiroth huffed at the words. "Don't be so melodramatic. You take my 'craziness', as you call it, too personally."

"You have to look at it from the world's point of view."

The man pursed his lips. "In the lifestream, with so much death and release around me... It all made more sense. It was easy to forget my life. I remember things now though..." The man crossed his arms, pulling away from Cloud's touch. "Lucrecia, that was her name, wasn't it? I saw her in your mind. I remember her name from the notes I read in the Shin-Ra mansion in Nibelheim." 

"Yeah."

"And Hojo..." Sephiroth's whole body became hard. Cloud felt a pulse of power he had to stifle. But before he could, a dark storm cloud had already started swirling above them. "The man is lucky he's dead."

"You saw these things in my mind?"

"Yes."

Cloud swallowed at the thought, a shame flooding him. How much had he seen exactly?

Sephiroth looked down at him, smirking slightly. "You're in my head, whether I like it or not. It's like having a conscience from hell."

Cloud burst out with a laugh. "Yeah, welcome to my world."

Sephiroth's smile broadened. He turned, facing the shorter man. Cloud stood still, his body still facing Edge, but he held the other man's gaze. He was scared to move, scared of changing the man's mind as the summon brushed a hand over his cheek. "Would it matter to you if I told you I'm sorry?"

His breath already heavy, Cloud breathed, "Sorry about what?"

"About what I did to you, to those you love."

Instant unwanted tears appeared in the younger man's eyes. Sephiroth's other hand came up, holding his cheeks, stopping the sudden shaking of his head. "You can't tell me you're sorry for that."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm not ready to forgive you."

"Then I'm even sorrier." 

Sephiroth bent his head, watching him, cautious. Cloud wasn't sure what to do, knowing he should stop the other man. He was slapping everyone in the face by wanting the man's mouth on his own. When Sephiroth's soft lips touched his own, he didn't care much anymore. 

Somewhere in the back of his mind, his thoughts scolded him, telling him he was too easy to manipulate, too easy to mind-fuck. He told the thoughts to go to hell. If Sephiroth was fucking with him, he could deal with it later.

Using both hands at the back of Sephiroth's head, he forced a harder kiss, groaning when Sephiroth only met his aggressiveness. He wanted this man so badly, it hurt, his erection already straining against the confines of his pants. Sephiroth's weight suddenly pushed him backwards, and he allowed it, knowing he was trying to press him against the side of a cliff a few feet behind them. He wanted to be trapped there, he wanted this man to trap him. He had to wonder then if Sephiroth could hear his thoughts, as the man grabbed his legs, and forced him to wrap them around his waist, so that they could press their bodies more firmly together, Sephiroth no longer having to bend down. Surely Sephiroth could feel the hardness at his groin as he pushed it against the man's stomach.

Grabbing blonde hair suddenly in a death grip, Sephiroth pulled his mouth away and grinned at him. "Had I known certain parts of you were so weak, I would have taken advantage of them sooner."

God, not now! Cloud growled his frustration, not able to still his hips completely at the words that bordered on insult. He glared at Sephiroth. "You're a fucking tease."

Sephiroth's grin grew wicked, making Cloud only want him more. "You tease me every time you're near." 

The hand at Cloud's waist suddenly slipped lower, feeling the curve of his ass, until it felt the line of the crack and the hole that hid there. Sephiroth pushed there, a celibate half-fucking that didn't do anything to satisfy Cloud. He released a hand at Sephiroth's head and used the space between them to rub the length of his cock none too gently.

"I want you so badly," Sephiroth growled.

Blue eyes opened slightly, seeing Sephiroth watch his every lustful motion and breath, listening to his every moan. "God, I want you in me."

Suddenly Sephiroth's hands were at his pants, relying on the cliff behind Cloud to support him. He unbuttoned his pants, yanking them and his underwear until his bare ass felt the warm afternoon air. 

Sephiroth having no spit to spare, he pressed his fingers into Cloud's mouth. The younger man sucked on them eagerly. Then Sephiroth's long fingers were instantly at his hole as Cloud stroked his freed erection with near abandon. When Sephiroth pressed a finger into him, Cloud yanked Sephiroth's mouth back onto his own with the hand still at the back of his head.

After finger fucking for only a few strokes, he dipped another one in, then another, forcing Cloud to moan loudly in his mouth. The desperation he felt, along with the desperate hand-job and the brilliant fingers at his hole that spread him, fucked him deeply, didn't allow him to last long. 

Just went he was about to come, Sephiroth pulled back, watching him, still fucking his ass. When Cloud stopped just as suddenly, Sephiroth urged. "I want to watch you come for me." 

Sephiroth kissed him again, licking, biting his lip. Obediently, Cloud started his motions again, and didn't stop again when Sephiroth pulled away. He looked at the man he loved through slitted eyes until he came hard. When he was left only panting, Sephiroth kissed him again, deeply, with a passion Cloud had only dreamed of before. If the man was only fucking with him, he was doing it well.

Coming down off of the high, he hissed when the fingers left his abused hole. His back hurt from the various rocks that had pressed against it, as Sephiroth let him slide down, until his feet held his own weight. The other man pulled his pants and underwear back on, tucking the partial hard-on neatly inside, then his hand gripped Cloud's waist, apparently not ready to let go. Cloud looked down drowsily and half-laughed. "I'm a mess."

"I'd lick it off, if I could."

Cloud grinned up at the other man, still half out of it. Then Sephiroth's hand was at his cheek again. The look in the man's eyes made his grin disappear. It was serious and made him tense up involuntarily. "What?"

"I just..." Sephiroth kissed him, a clear longing in the caresses. 

Cloud tried to relax into it, but found himself unable to. Something was wrong. Finally, he gripped the other man's face and force him back so he could look at him. "What's wrong?"

Sephiroth tried to kiss him again but he wouldn't allow it. Cat-like eyes eyed the younger man, before he finally said, "I don't want to lose you. If it was in my power, I'd never let you go again."

Blonde brows flung upwards as the grin renewed. "Had I known you were so weak, I would have fucked you years ago."

Sephiroth half-laughed. "Shut-up."

They spent the afternoon together, sitting next to the motorcycle, holding each other, talking quietly about each other, learning things and sharing things Cloud never thought he would. He never wanted to let Sephiroth go. It wasn't until he heard a clearing of a throat that Cloud whipped his head around and saw Vincent Valentine. The younger man was on his feet in an instant.

"Vincent, they sent you of all people?"

"I volunteered. You have everyone scared." 

Vincent walked up to him and past him to his motorcycle, reaching into a hidden cranny on the side of the metal structure. He pulled out a small piece of metal and threw it to the ground. A tracking device. That must have been the ping he'd heard when he was escaping. Cloud wasted no time on smashing the thing, more for his peace of mind than anything else. 

"They've arrested Barret for helping you. Tifa's lucky Rude has a soft spot for her. They're calling her attack self-defense, and that's what it was, obviously, but anything can be twisted around for a purpose."

"I'm not coming with you and I'm not giving you the materia."

Vincent half-smiled. "I figured as much when I saw you two together and I will help you in any way I can." The man sat on his motorcycle, crossing his arms. "I have no doubt this is in your ability to handle, Cloud. If you consider me, I've been living with monsters inside of me for years and I'm probably the last one that should. Monsters can be controlled. You just have to have to strength to do it." Vincent looked to Sephiroth. "No offense."

The white-haired man huffed out a laugh that clearly said, 'whatever'. But the reaction was lost when Vincent smiled at him. The reaction was replaced with an anger that's physical manifestation Cloud suddenly had to control. Cloud shot a warning glance to Sephiroth who paid him no heed.

"I know who you are now. I read about you. I've seen you in Cloud's mind, what you told him."

At that, Vincent's smile left as well. "My greatest sin?"

"You call what happened a sin? I call it hell."

The ex-Turk nodded. "It was hell. I'm sorry I couldn't stop her. I did try."

"I know. And Hojo shot you for it."

Vincent smirked, looking towards the setting sun. "The world if full of irony and, unfortunately, pain."

Cloud looked between the two men, a bit uneasy by their mutual coldness. But he knew, if anyone had answers for Sephiroth's past, this was the man, but he wasn't sure how to get them talking without making with whole conversation blow up.

As if having mercy on him, Vincent suddenly said, turning back to look at the white-haired man, "Would you like to know more about her?"

Sephiroth glared, although his mind was clearly working. Finally, he said, "I don't know... Maybe."

Vincent smiled sadly, "Well, I can tell you she was a beautiful, if flawed, person, and she loved you so much. But her greatest downfall was that she loved others as well."

Cloud walked away from them, Sephiroth not really noticing him go. It wasn't his conversation, he was just glad it was happening finally. It should have happened years before.


	6. Chapter 6

The evening still warm, Sephiroth watched light after light brighten the darkening horizon. He sat apart from the other two men, them leaving him to his brooding. The things Vincent had told him paraded in the back of his mind, trying to gain his attention. He didn't want to listen to the thoughts though. What would be the point? His mother and father were dead. So much of his old life was dead. In fact, he was dead. What did it all really matter?

Blue eyes continued their off and on stare. He no longer wanted to meet them. They'd been eyes he'd desired to have looking at him, whether in love, fear, anger, or a mix of those emotions. Now, they merely left him apathetic. 

In SOLDIER during his training, he'd learned about the stages of loss and grief. The knowledge was supposedly to help him not only deal with his own emotions, but also to help control the emotions of the people's lives they destroyed.

Thinking about it now, his mind clearer than it'd been in years, his death in Nibelheim had actually followed the steps: the withdrawing and denial of the truth, the anger at the world that had betrayed him, the bargaining and grasping at control as he faced his 'mother' for the first time, then depressing loss of control at Cloud's hands that ended with his death in the lifestream, but nonetheless, in the final stage, in death, he still managed to completely accept that he was the rightful owner of the planet and plot his claim over it.

The final idea made him huff a laugh. He, the ruler of a planet that sought to absorb him and, if that didn't work, trap him. He shook his head at the delusions he'd had, the power he never should have had but still did... with Cloud's permission, anyway.

The whole of his life had been the largest farce in recent history, second only to the ideas he'd had about his life.

He frowned at the thoughts, at darkness inside of himself. Earlier, he'd thought himself to still be in the first stage of grief. But maybe he was already in the fourth stage, a feat perhaps made possible by the fact that this wasn't the first he'd known of the truth. Vincent had merely filled in the details Cloud couldn't have known.

Really though, what did it matter what stage he was in? It didn't change the fact of how pathetic he was now. Sephiroth smirked at himself.

When he turned his head and finally acknowledged the man who loved him, Cloud looked away. The reaction made Sephiroth's smile increase. After a quick look back to Edge, knowing the time to act drew near, he stood and walked over to Cloud who then watched him wearily. 

Close enough to touch the man Sephiroth might have called his lover, had he not been what he was, Cloud looked to his feet. Cloud was indeed an odd piece of work, much like himself. Perhaps that was part of their attraction to one another. The crazy getting cozy with the crazy. What could be worse?

Vincent closed his phone, walked over, and smirked at them. "They're getting impatient."

"I'm sure," Cloud muttered, holding his arms around himself in a hug.

"Cloud, you might not like this idea, but if you listen to my reasoning, I believe you'll agree with me." Cloud gave a nod, encouraging Vincent to continue, although Cloud was nonetheless tense. "I do know who Tifa was referring to. And considering the circumstances, it would be best if you gave the materia to me and allowed me to talk to the woman alone. After all, your ability to sneak into a well-guarded area is lacking, considering they're looking for you."

Cloud huffed a laugh. "I figured you were going to say something like that. I told you, I'm not giving it to you. How about you call them back and tell them to just leave us the hell alone."

Raven locks fluttered with the shake of his head. "I wish it was that simple."

"Then bring her to us," Sephiroth offered.

"I doubt they would allow that. The woman is under the Turk's protection. Tseng feels indebted to protect her for past indiscretions."

"I'm sure..." Sephiroth could imagine. "Still, if we could talk to her, we could explain ourselves. Who is she anyway?"

Vincent looked to Sephiroth, a furrow creasing his forehead. "You probably do know her. From what I understand, you fought her and her group several years ago when she led the original AVALANCHE."

"Elfe? She's alive?"

"Yes, but she now goes by her given name, Felicia."

"But she's not a scientist."

"Necessity can create one. And it helps she has access to the research of a man named Fuhito. When the planet was almost destroyed two years ago, she apparently took it upon herself to study materia, mako, and the lifestream."

Cloud shrugged. "How about we just call her."

The ex-Turk pursed his lips for a second, then said with a shrug, "It couldn't hurt, I suppose. The worse she could do is hang up. Let me see if I can get her number."

The man walked away again, calling some unknown person, and left the two men alone. Cloud looked up at him. Sephiroth considered ignoring the look, but then met Cloud's eyes, unable to help himself. Cloud smiled up at him. If Sephiroth had had a pulse, he knew it would have quickened. His hand almost touched Cloud's cheek before he caught himself. 

Why... why did this man want to have anything to do with him? Cloud fought for him, protected him against the world, all at great personal risk. Sephiroth didn't know if he'd ever be able to understand it. 

Now he remembered why he'd been refusing to look at Cloud after his talk with Vincent. The shame that ate at him made him want to beg the other man for mercy and forgiveness. However, the first he'd already obtained, and the second would take much mending to be blessed with it. But even without it, Cloud was willing to be with him, in whatever weird kind of relationship they could have given the circumstances.

At the thought, he did finally touch Cloud's cheek. Cloud's smile increased. The idea of puppy love came to mind. Would Cloud still look at him the same in a year? Or more? He didn't know.

His gloved hand shifted to the back of Cloud's head, tangling into blonde hair, making Cloud's breath hitch. He suddenly wished Cloud hadn't been so young years before. Or that he hadn't been so much older. Maybe things would have been different. Maybe he still would have been a man that could have made love to this beautiful man properly and fully.

He used his other hand to grip the other side of Cloud's head and rested his forehead against Cloud's, his eyes closing. The regret he felt made him want to tear something apart. Instead, he held onto Cloud, trying to not hurt him with his grip. Cloud's hands covered his own, griping them, but not trying to pull them away.

"Sephiroth..."

Had he been human, the concern held on the single word would have made him cry.

"Sephiroth, it's okay."

Sephiroth huffed a laugh, his grip tightening slightly. "No. It's not."

Cloud released his hands, and instead laid his own on Sephiroth's cheeks, trying to push his head back. After a brief fight, Sephiroth pulled away and looked into sky-blue eyes that were so damn beautiful as they watched him carefully. "Sephiroth... Is this about... Look... I-I do forgive you." When Sephiroth only huffed another painful laugh, confirming that that was at least some portion of what was wrong, Cloud murmured, "I won't lie: My memories cause me pain every day. But, if the hair you're ripping out of my head is any indication, I know you're sorry."

At the words, Sephiroth loosened his grip, stopping the cause of yet more pain for Cloud. Hell, maybe he was still at stage one of the grief cycle. Or maybe the stages were just plain full of shit.

"Let's..." Cloud whispered, "Let's worry about it later. This has been between us for years. I don't think a few more hours will destroy any relationship we have together."

Sephiroth huffed yet again, this time at the irony of the situation. He was acting and reacting like a child and Cloud like the adult. But maybe, considering the circumstances, the world could forgive him just this once for being a sad excuse of a man, and a soldier, and a crazy person, and whatever else he was. Then again, the world would probably never forgive him.

But at least he had Cloud. Sephiroth smiled at Cloud's careful, concerned smile, which made Cloud's expression more relaxed.

"I wish..." Cloud's words faded, making Sephiroth wish for more. Then he frowned. "Maybe we shouldn't do this. We can still run."

Sephiroth lowered his hand, gripping Cloud's neck. His other hand wandered down the front of Cloud's neck and to his chest, again making his breath hitch. His watched his own hand, quite interested in where it was going. "And where would we go?"

"There are lots of places. Lots of open land. Mountains. Beaches. Anywhere, really."

"And you'd want to just up and leave and never see those you love again?"

Cloud lowered his hands to Sephiroth's waist, his eyes closed at Sephiroth's touches. "Maybe... Maybe in a few years, people will forget. Things will cool off."

"I seriously doubt that. People don't forget destroyers, nor would I want them to. If they do, it could happen again. What happened should never happen again."

"It shouldn't, but it probably will. People aren't the smartest things on the planet."

"And what is?"

"Oh, I don't know... Trees?"

Sephiroth couldn't help his grin. "Trees?"

"Gentlemen," Vincent said as he walked towards them.

At the word, Sephiroth pulled away and faced Vincent as the man's phone slipped back into a pocket. Amusement seemed to dance in crimson eyes, but as a soft smile matched it, Sephiroth thought perhaps it was instead contentment directed at them. Did Vincent approve of their relationship? The idea left him unsettled, probably because he could barely accept their relationship himself.

When Vincent stopped a few feet from them, he looked towards Edge and grew grim. "She won't leave Edge, which is understandable. She has no interest in putting herself at further risk, especially not for you." Sephiroth knew the 'you' was directed at him. "However, she will allow me to bring her the materia to be examined, but she isn't guaranteeing anything, since this is the first she's heard of a conscious summon."

Cloud huffed his exasperation. "You?"

"Yes. You shouldn't have run. You've lost their trust."

"They weren't giving me a choice. They were threatening me."

"Rude and Reno?" Vincent asked and Cloud nodded. "Well, everyone has their higher powers."

Cloud huffed again. "You think I don't know that?"

"Then you understand that everyone has their reasons for doing things, whether or not we agree with them. But at some point, we have to compromise or, well, bad things happen."

"And I have to be the one to compromise?"

"You're the one with all the power, Cloud."

Cloud stiffened at the words before he shook his head and walked a short distance away. Sephiroth watched him, understanding. Power was a difficult thing to give up. His back still to them, Cloud muttered, "Vincent, I want to trust you. You know I do. But how can I know you'll bring him back to me? And... and what if she frees him or destroys him and I never see him again? I want to be there. I mean... I believe he was placed into my hands for a reason. I can't just let him go now." Cloud turned his head, looking at Sephiroth, pain evident in his face. "Unless... unless you want me to?"

The summon watched the other man, quiet for only a moment, before he murmured, "I want you with me."

It was Vincent's turn to huff a laugh, shaking his head as he pulled out his phone yet again. "Okay, we'll go together. I'm going to tell them we're coming though. If they know we're headed in the right direction, hopefully, they'll just let us see her. If anything, Felicia being in a largely populated area is probably to our advantage. The last thing Reeve wants is more chaos. But..." Vincent eyed Sephiroth. "Do you still have your abilities?" 

Sephiroth nodded, but then looked to Cloud. He didn't know what he was looking for in Cloud. Then again, perhaps Sephiroth was just trying to avoid the truth that, while he was at the mercy of his summoner, he was weaker than any human.

"Cloud can control you, correct?" Vincent probably taking the silence as affirmation, when he said to Cloud, "You should allow me to resummon Sephiroth. It would be best if no one else has even the chance of summoning him. If anything should happen, they'll be coming after you first, not me. You can still keep the materia." He flipped open his phone, but before he dialed, he murmured, "At least compromise with me on this."

Cloud held his gaze for nearly a minute, his mind clearly raging though thoughts, before he finally said, "Fine."

Sephiroth hadn't thought Cloud would relinquish control, but now he found himself filled with instant dread. While he knew Cloud loved him, Vincent on the other hand only had ties to him through Lucrecia. Whatever the man felt for him, it surely wasn't love. He was about to protest when he suddenly reentered the abyss of his cage.

Sephiroth reemerged probably only moments later. When Vincent stood in front of him instead of Cloud, he found himself nauseous, unnerved. Instantly, a reactive, protective pulse of power swarmed through Sephiroth and Vincent instantly reeled him in, frowning at him. The gathering of power hadn't been intentional, and he hoped Vincent knew that. When Vincent only put the phone to his ear and turned away, apparently unimpressed with having Sephiroth in the palms of his hands, the summon blew out a huff of air and looked for Cloud who still stood a short distance away.

Cloud watched him, his hands gripping his upper arms, as if to ward off a chill in the air that didn't exist. Sephiroth took some consolation in the fact that Cloud was enjoying this as little as he was.

"Reeve, we're coming back to Edge to see Felicia. If you would like to have someone meet us there, you're welcome to... Okay." Vincent pocketed the phone and walked towards them, then past them, saying, "I'll meet you both at your home, Cloud."

Then the man was bounding away in a flutter of crimson, in ways no human could. Sephiroth got the distinct feeling that he hadn't seen the true extent of the Vincent Valentine's powers years ago when Vincent had joined the fight to stop him in his rampage. Or perhaps the ex-Turk was merely coming into his powers. It didn't really matter though since thankfully the man appeared to be on their side.

Cloud mounted his motorcycle and looked to him expectantly. As Sephiroth followed the lead, with his own conscious effort, he blackened his hair and shortened until it was just below his waist, and his armor took the shape of clothing similar to Cloud's. At least Vincent's distant will allowed him that much control. Sephiroth thought for a moment to test exactly how much control he had over himself, but decided against it as he sat behind Cloud and enjoyed the other man's warmth, as well as the charge that still flowed through him at their touch. If and when the fight came, he'd test his limits. But for now, he knew if he tried, Vincent could probably sense his call for power, even at that distance.

The city's emptying streets barely took notice of them as they raced past, although some people did take the time to wave. Everyone there knew Cloud, didn't know his companion, and apparently knew nothing about what had transpired earlier. The notion wasn't surprising. Sephiroth's name was a sure way to cause instant unrest, something Reeve was trying to avoid.

Cloud's home looked the same as it had hours before, but it was dark inside. Cloud opened the garage and parked his motorcycle. They walked inside and found Vincent in the living room viewing the framed photographs lining the walls and furniture. 

The ex-Turk picked one up, his eyes taking in all the details, smiling slightly. "You have a beautiful family, Cloud."

"Yeah..."

The man carefully put the picture back in the same way he'd found it and strode up to them, taking them both in. "Are you ready for this?"

Sephiroth knew the man wasn't talking about physical readiness, but rather mental.

"Yeah."

Sephiroth watched Cloud, wondering at the short responses. He could see that Cloud was full of anxiety. For a brief moment, he considered touching the man, to see if he could catch some glimpse of what he was thinking. He hadn't seen anything like that since the day before, but he thought maybe he could with effort since, perhaps, after that first time, he'd been unconsciously avoiding getting that close to Cloud. Then again, did he really want to be that close to Cloud's mind again? He realized he did.

Before contact could be made, Vincent walked past them, once again taking the lead in a group of reluctant leaders. "Let's go then before they have the time to think too much. We're heading right into WRO headquarters, so let's all act calm and like we have every right to be there." They followed after as he continued, "Once this is done, I'm sure they'll let Barret go free. The man is more use to them in his position in WRO than sitting in a jail cell, and holding him will only raise questions I'm sure they don't want to answer." When Cloud activated the mechanism to display his swords on his motorcycle, Vincent stopped, pursed his lips at him, and then suggested, "Bring a smaller one?"

Cloud huffed, running his hands over the hilts. He selected one that looked small, just barely covering his back. The thing looked innocent enough, as innocent as a sword could. However, upon use, the sword had mechanisms that allowed it to divide and grow in length.

Watching them, Sephiroth found himself jealous at their freedom to do as they wished, the choices they could make, only having to consider another person's opinion in the matter. It in turn brought an anger that he forced down into the pit of his non-existent stomach before the air around him could crackle. For a brief moment, Vincent watched him, but when Cloud took notice, the gunman strode out of the garage, the other two following behind.

They took to the roofs of the buildings, jumping from structure to structure. Barely anyone noticed their inhuman leaps. The few that did could do nothing about it except perhaps call the authorities if they didn't recognize them. In the darkness, there was the good chance the people didn't. It didn't really matter though. The WRO already knew they were coming.


	7. Chapter 7

When the three men walked into the lab, as well as the small entourage of guards escorting them, the only person there straightened and studied them with a coldness that did little to boost Cloud's negligible hope that this woman was the answer, nor did the look calm his nerves in the least. The closer they got though, the more Cloud realized she wasn't looking at them. She was looking at Sephiroth.

The near glare only lasted a couple of seconds before the woman looked away. After tucking stray locks of long brunette hair behind an ear, that hand immediately joined the other one in shifting items around in a cardboard box sitting on a large table covered with mounds of papers, books, and equipment. Stacks of other boxes, both metal and cardboard, lined the walls. The sight was similar to the other rooms they'd passed in the WRO building. She put another book in, closed the box, and then walked towards them, meeting them half way.

"Felicia, this is-" Vincent started.

"I know who they are." She crossed her arms, standing stiffly, taking to staring at Sephiroth again. "When I suggested you question the reasons you fight for Shin-Ra years ago, I never thought..."

Sephiroth's stare was just as cold.

Not knowing the circumstances surrounding her words, Cloud nonetheless tried to neutralize the situation with, "We didn't come here to-"

Felicia interrupted him with a flick of her hand that clearly said, 'Stop.' "You did. Don't think anyone here can overlook the possible consequences of what you're asking for. The people here, around the world, have seen family and friends killed for far too many years and for fucked-up reasons." 

The woman took another couple of steps forward, bringing her close enough to Sephiroth to touch him. Holding her breath, she reached out a hand and touched his coat, and then jerked her hand away at the slight contact, leaving Cloud wondering if she'd felt something when she'd touched him.

Looking down at her hand, she rubbed her fingers together. "Reeve, the department leaders, and I, we had a meeting after Vincent called me. I'm sure you know Reeve only wants peace, but considering the things you've done for us, Mr. Strife..." The woman finally met Cloud's eyes. "Against our better judgement, we're willing to work with you on this. Although, I think half of the consent comes from some kind of morbid curiosity from the war and science departments which unfortunately make up the majority of this organization." Walking around them, she said over her shoulder, "Come with me."

The group did as she requested, following just a few steps behind back into nearly empty hallways. Considering the time of night, it wasn't surprising.

"I've been experimenting with breaking down materia into its natural state, into lifestream. When you consider that materia like Meteor exist, well, I'm sure you can understand the importance of my research." Then she glanced pointedly over her shoulder at Sephiroth, stating, "Some materia shouldn't exist."

Out of the corner of his eye, Cloud saw Sephiroth's body tense as much as it could without stopping Sephiroth's footsteps. Bristled, he wanted to tell her to shut her mouth, to protect Sephiroth from the world, but unfortunately they needed her and, well, she was right despite what he felt for Sephiroth.

When they reached a large steel door with a huge mechanical lock on it, Felicia nodded to the guards, placing her hand on the scanner, and said, "Thank you for your escort. I'll call the security desk if we have need of further assistance." Then she led the three men into the room.

A few personnel wandered about in the clinical white lab that glowed with computers and medical equipment. Their gazes shifted repeatedly, wearily to the people who'd entered. Ignoring them, their footsteps echoing on the metallic floor, Felicia walked the trio to the large glass windows on the other side which revealed the next room over. 

What Cloud saw on the other side of the glass stopped his breath. Sephrioth stood by his side, stiff, not breathing, not that he needed to. It was several long moments before Cloud could manage, "He didn't die?"

"No. Even with burns covering most of his body, we managed to keep him alive, although he never regained consciousness. His 'brother', Loz, survived as well, but we lost him a day later. They'd thought he was the stronger one, so they, well, they performed 'tests' on him. However, his health deteriorated almost immediately and there was nothing they could do." She shook her head, her disgust obvious in her scowl. "The department is waiting until they fully transition to the new WRO headquarters to begin on him, a transition which was accelerated after the events a few weeks ago..." She huffed a humorless laugh, seeming unable to tear her gaze away. "The madness of men. It'll never stop."

"Then why do you stay?" Sephiroth asked, some deep, angry emotion straining his voice.

Her gaze jumped to him at the words. Her jaw worked up and down for a moment before she finally muttered, "I... I don't know." The woman stared at the side of the white-haired man's face before she turned to all of them, a weak smile trying to erode her tense expression. "Well, here's what we're proposing... And know that there's no room for discussion... 

"Obviously, first, we have to free Sephiroth. I'll attempt to break down the materia. So far, I've had a good success rate, although some materia seem more unstable than others. I've lost some and some equipment. 

"And then, if I succeed, they'll attempt to merge the resulting matter with Yazoo's body. From what I've been told and understand, something similar happened with Kadaj and Jenova's matter and gave Sephiroth a physical form."

"Yes..." Cloud muttered, remembering quite well the transformation that had happened before his eyes.

"We're hoping it'll work again." She looked back to the unconscious body. "Before we attempt it though - And you have to decide whether or not you agree with the terms. And, again, this isn't up for discussion - The war department has a Nanotechnology that will be injected into the body. It's programmed-"

"Allow me to explain it to them, Felicia. I know you're eager to finish your packing and leave for the night."

The woman had turned to the man when the first word was spoken and continued to watch him until he was standing next to them. She pressed her lips together for a moment, and Cloud almost thought she'd refuse, but then she nodded. "Yes, Mr. Parker, I do have some more things to pack and it's getting late." She nodded to the trio. "I'll see you in the morning."

When she'd walked away, the man looked Sephiroth over. "Remarkable. So you can truly control him?" After looking between them and only receiving a stony reception for the question, the man cleared his throat and set his gaze on the remnant lying on the hospital bed just large enough to contain his thin, but long form. "As she was saying, the technology is programmed to seek out all vital organs, including the heart and brain and is continuously powered by the energy created by living cells. So unless the subject dies, there's no expiration date once the Nanos are inside. 

"And here's the interesting part: We can access this technology through our satellites. We can track you and, if necessary, kill you. Each nanobot contains a small amount of two substances that, when mixed, is close to acid. In the end though, the combined substance does more or less the same thing as acid, except it will only burn living tissue and has an active time period of only a few seconds. That time is enough, however, to liquefy your internal organs. It's a painful death, but you can be grateful that it only lasts a few seconds."

The room grew quiet as the man let the three of them digest the words.

"You said," Sephiroth said, his voice just above a whisper, "you can access the technology through satellites. I assume there's some kind of security measures in place, but what if someone hacks the system and activates the technology?"

"Well, yes, if something can be built, it can be broken into if someone is determined enough. My only suggestion is to not get on anyone's shitlist."

"And if I already am?"

The scientist curved a side of his mouth at the larger man. "It's a risk you're going to have to take." The man gestured to the door they'd entered from. "It -is- late so this won't be happening tonight since certain necessary personnel have already left for the night. I'll show you to a room you can spend the night." 

Instead of waiting for affirmation, the man walked away, clearly expecting them to follow. 

They did, but when they entered the hallway again, Vincent said, "Cloud, Sephiroth, I have some things to take care of tonight, but I'll return to you in the morning." Then the man smiled, the expression about a warm as the man could probably manage, "Try to sleep some."

Caught off guard, Cloud almost just let him walk away, but then, remembering who'd summoned Sephiroth, he shot a glance to his previous commander before looking back to Vincent and said, "Wait. You'll be going to sleep? What if I..."

Vincent looked between them and then, proving Cloud wrong, offered a deeper smile. "I won't be getting any sleep tonight. And we'll worry about that in the morning."

Cloud nodded and watched Vincent's long strides take him down the hallway, around a corner, and out of sight.

"This way." The scientist led them down hallways to an area that didn't look quite so clinical with its couches, tables, television, and vending machines. Down one more hallway, the man stopped in front of a door and opened it with a keycard. "I won't be able to provide you with a keycard for security reasons, but there is a bathroom inside and I had someone from the cafeteria stock the fridge with some food. Please humor us and stay inside until we come for you. You can use this time to consider everything and let us know in the morning what you decide."

When left alone, Cloud shook his head, removing his sword from his back and setting it against a wall. "They're acting like they're giving us a choice."

Sephiroth frowned for a moment, but then grinned, "Well, together, we -could- rule the world. I suppose they're taking that into consideration with their proposal."

Cloud rolled his eyes with little humor. "Don't even start talking like that."

"Like what?"

"You know what." Cloud walked over to the small fridge below the kitchenette's counter and saw nothing that looked even remotely appetizing, not that anything would have at that point. He couldn't get out of his head what they'd been told. He couldn't stop imaging Sephiroth dying in his arms, his body losing its rigidity as it was eaten alive from the inside. Shoving the door closed, he restraightened and raked hand through his hair. "We should just leave. There has to be another way. What they're asking-"

"It's understandable."

"But?"

"It's not the first time I've been controlled or experimented on."

"And I can tell by your voice that you agree with it as little as I do. You can't spend months, years, wondering every day if they or someone else is going to push the button." Cloud sat down on the side of the bed and gripped his hair, his elbows on his knees, trying to get his emotions under control. When it didn't work, exasperated, he looked back at the summon. "This is just fucking ridiculous!"

Sephiroth could apparently only hold his gaze for a moment before the man turned away, his arms crossed, as if trying to conserve warmth. 

When the other man refused to speak, Cloud muttered, the pleading clear in his voice, "Sephiroth... We don't have to do this. I don't want to do this."

"You really think we have a choice?"

"Yes, I mean, there has to be another way. And really, how long have you been dead? Seven, eight years now? You can obviously continue on like this."

"And be controlled every minute? When you're conscious, anyway."

Cloud gritted his teeth to fight back unwelcome tears of frustration, fear, rage, and love. It was nearly a minute before he could trust his voice. "You want to accept their proposal?"

"I can't... I can't continue on like this. It's not good for either of us."

"If you're worried about me, then please don't be."

"Cloud... You're not thinking this through. Don't let your emotions-"

Cloud huffed loudly. "You, of all people, are actually going to give me that lecture? My God. Seriously, get off your high horse." Sephiroth stood stiffly, arms crossed, still near the door, and stared at him with a look that made Cloud want to beg for the man's forgiveness, just to stop the coldness. Only seconds later, unwilling to drive them apart just a day after they'd been brought back together, he smashed apart that part of himself that held his pride. "I'm sorry. I just can't... I can't..."

When the words refused to come, white brows furrowed in an expression that appeared more thoughtful than angry. Jaw tense, Cloud felt like he was sixteen years old again and under this man's solid control. Solid until Sephiroth had gone insane, anyway. 

Sephiroth opened his mouth, closed it, and then offered words that ached Cloud's heart but he nonetheless forced himself to listen to Sephiroth's words. "I don't know the best course myself. If we simply left... We may know that releasing me is possible, but from the sound of it, I'll become formless again. And with no host, I'll return to the planet. If I'm going to take physical form, this is my only chance... But honestly, considering, I'm not sure I want the chance.

"Then we'll leave. I don't like their proposal any more than you do."

"And what about a year from now? Are you going to have the strength to keep me around?"

Cloud instantly wanted to blurt out, 'Of course I will!' but he could tell by Sephiroth's expression that the man wouldn't have believed him. "Sephiroth, my life has never been easy. I don't expect it to start being so now, especially not now. Either way we go about this, we're going to have these people at our backs for the rest of our lives. At least, one way, I know I... I know I won't lose you."

"And you'll keep me like a pet?"

"Don't say it like that."

"Don't say the truth? ...Perhaps... Perhaps I should let her just break down the materia, and then-"

Cloud bolted upright, stopping Sephiroth's words, already knowing what he was going to say. "And what, kill yourself? I'm not going to give you that pleasure."

"And you say I'm not a pet."

"Don't twist my words around!"

"Cloud..." Sephiroth looked at him with an intensity that brought a heat to his skin. 

Then slowly, making Cloud wish he could back up but the bed was still behind him, Sephiroth walked up to him, studying Cloud's every ridiculous, angry tremble, and placed his hands on either side of his flushed face, which brought a renewed shock of energy between them, and forced his head to tilt upwards. The man brushed his lips over a part of his cheek that was unconcealed by the large hand, and it was all Cloud could do to not wrap his arms around him and never let go. 

He didn't want to lose Sephiroth again. He couldn't even imagine it.

"I've never met anyone like you before," Sephiroth murmured before another lingering kiss on his skin. "Even after everything I've done..."

Wanting to lose himself in his former commander's touch, Cloud hissed, "Don't talk about it anymore. I'm so tired of thinking about the past."

"I..." The man broke off and nuzzled his cheek.

Finally Cloud wrapped his arms around him, refusing to let go, trying to pull the much taller man closer. Then he was lifted and placed on the bed. Cloud held on tighter, afraid the other man would pull away, even when it was obvious they were headed in the opposite direction.

"I want to make love to you, but I..."

Cloud shoved him back at the words and began yanking at his own clothing, saying, "I want you. I want you right now."

The larger man watched his every movement, making his heart only pound more, and did his best to gracefully remove every piece of clothing that separated them while being trapped underneath the summon, all without kneeing or elbowing his lover. The cool room's air caressing his skin, he then reached up and pulled Sephiroth back against his willing body. His mouth wet the other man's dry one. His hips ground at the man's stomach, wetting what felt like fabric with his pre-cum.

A moment later, Cloud pushed the other man away slightly. "Can you, you know, strip or something?"

Sephiroth seemed puzzled for a moment, but then the whole of him fluttered, casting a white light to brighten the room. Forced to flinch, Cloud's cock still twitched when he realized this man was doing this with him. When the light faded, Sephiroth's pale skin glowed in the dimly lit room. Not giving him time to fully appreciate the strong naked body formed from Sephiroth's memories, Sephiroth claimed his mouth again, kissing him with a heat that he'd only previously experienced in his fantasies, grabbing Cloud's backside and grinding them together. With the summon's height, the man was already pressing near his entrance. If Sephiroth truly was a virgin, outside of the finger-fucking he'd given Cloud earlier that day, he was the most uninhibited one in history. 

When the jabbing motions became surer, dry as a bone down there, Cloud somehow managed to push him away again. "I don't have any lube. Get off. Let me see if there's something in the kitchen." 

The man did so with obvious reluctance, and Cloud slipped away, naked, scouring through cabinets until he came upon a small unopened bottle of cooking oil. Extra Virgin at that. Cloud couldn't help his huff but brought it back to the bed, opened it with a small cracking sound, pulled off the seal, and drizzled a bit on his fingers. It smelled like what it was, but he wasn't going to complain. He worked the slippery stuff onto Sephiroth's substantial length, nearly moaning merely at the size of it, wondering if Sephiroth's remembering's were a bit exaggerated, either consciously or subconsciously.

Despite Cloud's best efforts though, the man seemed to take no particular pleasure in Cloud's touches in that region, which made him think that this part of Sephiroth felt the same to him as any other and that this form was merely for Cloud's benefit. Oddly enough, the idea made him love this man even more.

"Lay back down," Sephiroth purred next to his ear. A day ago, he never would have thought Sephiroth would whisper those words to him. And a day ago, Cloud wouldn't have done it, fearing his own death if he'd listened.

Sephiroth dribbled some more oil on his fingers, placed the container back on the end table, and then came up on the bed, urging Cloud's knees apart with his other hand, their contact sending another pulse of energy through him. His breaths trembling, Cloud obeyed the silent request. As Cloud watched, the man got down on his elbows between his legs. Being so vulnerable, so open to his previous enemy almost made him lose his control. But then any thought of flight was banished when Sephiroth took the wobbling length between Cloud's legs into his mouth and licked and sucked, creating a rhythm that had already had his balls tightening. 

Then a finger pushed into him. He tensed for just a second at the unexpected intrusion, but forced himself to relax as he listened to the sounds of Sephiroth's mouth. After a few pumps, another was added. A few seconds later, another. The fingers pressed into him, opening him, putting pressuring on his insides in places that brought jolts of pleasure through his body.

When he took to jarring his hips, fucking the face that was attempting to devour him, Sephiroth pulled back mercilessly, propped Cloud's legs over his shoulders, grabbed his own length, and pressed against the stretched hole. Cloud tried to breathe and relax as the pressure increased, but ended up holding his breath. Then, almost victoriously, the head found a home within his body, and his entrance clamped down on the smaller part, as if urging the invading length to stay.

Over and over again with small thrusts, Sephiroth pressed further into him, opening him up with a thickness like no other man's before. By the time Sephiroth was completely inside, Cloud was covered in a slight layer of sweat and felt like he was going to faint from the pleasure that crippled rational thought.

Cloud felt like a mess, but that didn't stop Sephiroth's hands from running over his body before one came to grip his straining erection and pump it. Immediately after, Sephiroth began to pound his hips against Cloud's willing body. Sephiroth watched him, his eyes clouded in something that was definitely desire, but Cloud could tell it wasn't exactly what he himself felt. It bothered him, but only for a few moments. Eventually, he couldn't care as his orgasm built up in him.

Disorientating him, Sephiroth suddenly released him, pushed his legs off, and then picked him up off of the bed and brought him to straddle him, all without losing his place in Cloud's body. Their faces almost at the same height, Sephiroth kissed him deeply, and with a wanting Cloud never wanted to end.

But he did end it a few seconds later when he pulled away and whispered, "Lay down."

Looking him in the eyes, Sephiroth shifted his legs and laid down on his back. His hands gripped Cloud's hips and urged him to find a new rhythm. Slowly, eyes closed, he rode the length in him, feeling every shifting of flesh inside as the length stretched him over and over again.

"If I'd known you be-"

Cloud's eyes flashed open at his lover's voice. Then he grinned, despite himself. "In bed is the only place I'm ever going to be this easy."

The summon grinned back and then arched his hips up with a slap, making Cloud drop his head back with a low groan. He rode his ex-commander's length with near abandon, threatening to come at each yank of Sephiroth's hand on his erection. It took all of his remaining willpower to hold back from coming all over the both of them. But apparently determined to milk him dry, Sephiroth never relented. Within minutes, Cloud came, his cum hitting both of their chests with the relentless, harsh pumping.

When his calls became hisses, Sephiroth finally did relent and switched to small, light strokes, milking out any remaining cum. Cloud let himself collapse against his lover's chest, loving the feel of the length still stretching him. 

The man was like a dildo, always hard and ready when needed. Cloud found himself grinning again at the thought. But then the smile was lost when he realized he couldn't hear a heartbeat.

Sephiroth stroked his damp back and the room grew quiet. In that quietness, Cloud's mind drifting, a few minutes later, Sephiroth shattered the calm by softly saying, "I... Before tomorrow happens, I wanted to tell you... I love you."

The words renewed the flush of Cloud's body, but for a wholly different reason. Every cell in him meant it when he whispered back, "I love you too."


	8. Chapter 8

Cloud slept, his body warm in the cool room, his arm and leg a tangle over the length of Sephiroth's own body, and the other limbs probably a tangle in the long white hair below them. Cloud slept as if he was used to sleeping with another.

Was he?

Sephiroth had never pictured Cloud as one who would seek out this kind of companionship, had only seen him keep a certain amount of distance from everyone. Well, except for when Cloud was younger and befriending Zack Fair on their mission in Nibelheim, at a time when Sephiroth himself had kept his subordinates at a distance...

At that time though, duty had forced ex-SOLDIER to enforce that distance. He was their commander, answering directly to the top people of Shin-Ra. And as such, he'd had to command those under him with rationality, strength, and composure. And not with compassion which would have gotten them all killed, as well as heightening the chance of failing the mission.

Well, then again... Sephiroth closed his eyes and tried to not remember fire and screams.

He shouldn't have been dwelling on such matters at the moment. He had more urgent things to worry about than things he couldn't change and Cloud's sexual past.

He had Cloud's future to worry about, as well as his own. And since when had he become two people?

"Years ago," he admitted with a whisper in the quiet room after a moment's thought.

Had the situation been a normal one and with a normal person involved, he would have already been gone, long gone. But he was no longer in control of his own life, nor his own heart. To top it all off, he couldn't even have a life, not even die, without another person helping him do it.

...And what if Cloud died? Where would he be then? Well, he'd be at the mercy of whoever found him first. The idea made him ill.

He had to get out of the materia. Whatever happened afterwards, he'd just have to deal with it, but he couldn't be literally at other people's mercy for eternity. An eternity...

Even if Cloud was willing to grant him an almost normal life, what about 75 or 150 or 1000 years from that point, when Cloud had long since passed away? He couldn't even imagine it.

Even if right now he had his mind about him, he was sure that, whether under the control of another or locked inside the materia, he would have been completely insane in 1000 years. And the destruction he could cause in that state and in the care of a sociopathic owner...

Yes, he had to get out, whatever the consequences, whether or not the planet consumed him again and Cloud was lost to him. He couldn't live like this, if 'live' was even the proper word.

Nonetheless, despite his conviction, he could understand what Cloud wanted, the desire to just leave and continue on in this manner. If their roles had been reversed, he himself probably would have reacted the same way, well, at least in a similar way. The idea of having Cloud in his pocket... Yeah, he would have taken great pleasure in it. But such a notion didn't consider the larger picture.

In the dim, windowless room, it was impossible to tell the time of day. Luckily there was an alarm clock by the bed. It was just a bit after eight in the morning. When he'd been living, this was late, a normal rising time being at least six, if not sooner. Of course, Cloud had been unable to sleep until nearly three in the morning.

Sephiroth shifted slightly underneath Cloud. Being under him, while enduring in the beginning, well, there were things that needed to be done. He considered risking shifting out from underneath the man, but then remembered he wasn't really there, was more of a pulse of energy than anything else. He concentrated on making himself formless. Almost immediately Cloud's limbs hit the mattress with light thumps. Sephiroth wasted no time and floated above the bed, pulling his hair over his shoulder, shifted to the side of the bed, solidified his form, and looked down at his lover. The man was still asleep, although frowning, mumbling. The man was beautiful and so young, even in his early 20's. It was so tempting to get back into the bed and hold him.

Instead, the summon forced himself to picture the lab attendants, took on one of their forms to the best of his ability, grabbed the materia from Cloud's clothing and stuck it in the false lab coat, and walked to the door. After a moment's hesitation, realizing the materia probably wouldn't phase with him, he opened and closed the door as quietly as he could.

The hallway was empty, but he could hear voices in the lounge area. Knowing he had to go that way, he steeled himself and walked the route he remembered from the night before. No one paid him much mind, not even so much as a 'hi', so he guessed he'd taken on the form of one of the less popular people there.

When he arrived back at Felicia's lab, he was grateful the woman was there, but from her frazzled hair and same clothing from before, he got the distinct impression that she had slept here, if she'd slept at all.

Her blue eyes latched onto him the moment he entered. "Can I help you?"

As he walked towards her, he shifted back into his normal shape, making her gasp and stumble back a step. But then she seemed to catch herself and crossed her arms over her chest protectively.

"Yes, you can."

Felicia shook her head briefly. "You were supposed to wait until we came for you. We don't have everything set up yet."

"What can there be to set up?"

"The nanobots, or so I've been told. Apparently they're having an issue."

That sounded promising...

Squashing any further thought since it didn't matter to him, not anymore, he asked, "Do you have the equipment you need to break down the materia in this lab?"

"...Yes, why?"

Spelling it out, his patience draining for more than one reason, he said, "I want you to break the materia down."

"You mean, right now?"

"Yes."

The woman blinked her surprise, obviously caught off guard. "You have it with you?"

Sephiroth nodded, reached into the part of his body he could feel the physical presence, and plucked it out. The act made the woman grimace. Apparently she'd been away from war for too long. Years before, the act would have just made her shrug. He held it out to her, but she was hesitant in taking it.

Instead, looking him in the eyes, she asked, "Does Cloud know you're doing this?"

"Does it matter?"

"No..."

Sephiroth didn't believe she believed the word, but it didn't matter as long as she did as he asked. He walked a step closer, grabbed her hand, and pushed the materia in it. She, in turn, yanked her hand away and looked at the materia like she wanted to throw it away from her.

Eyeing her, he muttered, "I hope this doesn't take long."

"Initially, it does," she said absently, still looking down, "but once the materia begins to break down, it's like unraveling a sweater. It almost does it itself at that point."

"Let's get started then."

Felicia jerked her gaze up, her mind clearly jumping back to the present.

He smirked at her, although he had no humor inside of himself. "You're going to show me compassion -now-?"

"I... You're asking me to kill you."

"I've been dead before, on several occasions. As such, being so bothers me far less than you would think. And you said yourself that certain materia shouldn't exist." He crossed his arms over his chest, widening his stance. "If it makes you feel better, I'll push the button."

The phone rang, making the woman jolt. Staring at him for a moment longer, she hurried away, probably as much to escape his confrontation as to answer the phone in a reasonable amount of time. She dug through the mess on the table and finally found the device after a few rings.

"Felicia," she stated, turning away from him. A few moments later, she said, "He's here... Yes, a few minutes ago... Okay." She hung up and turned back around. "They're coming here to retrieve you. I'm sorry, we don't have time. If I start now and at least the initial phase doesn't complete, well, you probably won't exist at all, never mind being dead."

"Then start."

"Sephiroth, I..."

An anger-drenched frustration swelled in him at her hesitance. "Start it!"

"If I do..."

"What? What will happen?"

"There's more going on here than I'm sure you've been told. More than I've been told." Her voice lowered, as if she was worried about being overheard. "When I was leaving last night, I overheard them talking about..."

He could imagine and the imaginings spurred him on, as he growled, "I don't know what exactly you're concerned for, yourself or someone or something else, but if you keep delaying like this - Don't let this happen."

"You never should have come here," she whispered. The woman pressed her lips together, fear leaking from her tense form as she gripped the materia so harshly her hand turned white. Then she whipped around, heading to a machine along the wall. She placed the materia inside. The moment she did, the room went black. And then, a moment later, everything went white as he was plunged into the abyss of the materia.

Darkness drenched in blood that was only spoiled by the light coming from the hallway, Vincent shoved Felicia aside and took the materia out of the machine, all in one motion, before Felicia could even comprehend the violence. The near-assault was as much of a show for the occupants of the building, watching through the night-vision camera in the corner, as it was for saving the dead man encased inside the materia.

Sephiroth wasn't going to get any deader that day, especially when it ruined Vincent's carefully laid plans, even if Sephiroth hated him for choosing his fate for him. And if he was going inevitably hate him, they could deal with it on another day.

The materia firmly in his grasp, he exited the room again in a flood of motion, leaving the woman to try to piece together what had just happened.

Had someone questioned him why he was doing this, he wouldn't have bothered to form the words. It wasn't something anyone could understand, except perhaps Vincent's... The man closed his eyes at the thought of Lucrecia, unwilling to name what she had been to him. Instead, he chose the safer course: Sephiroth's mother. 

No, the world couldn't understand what he had seen earlier that day between Cloud and Sephiroth, supposed mortal enemies, had seen in Sephiroth, a supposed monster... He didn't know where it'd come from after so much insanity or how it'd gotten into Sephiroth. 

But he'd seen hope.

And inside himself, he'd rediscovered a hope that had always been there. A hope to make right a wrong that had gone so unbearably wrong. One that had destroyed a man and so many others, as well as almost destroying the world itself. And if Cloud hadn't brought sense into him years before, Vincent would have allowed it to happen while lying in a coffin drowning in his nightmares.

Guards flattened to the wall when he rushed by like an angry mass of hornets, but he barely acknowledged them. They were headed to confine Felicia. He had no worries for her. She was still too necessary to the WRO, as well as under the protection of Tseng and Reeve. As long as she didn't outright attack someone, her confinement would be short-lived.

In the medical room, legs coming to an easy stride, he walked directly to the readied machine and placed the materia inside. 

"Thank you, Mr. Valentine," Simon Parker said with a fascinated smile, bending down to look at the materia through the thick glass. "We'll begin without Felicia. The whole procedure is controlled by the program she and others wrote, so we really don't need her." He offered a grin to Vincent, as if they were buddies in on it together, before he walked to a computer. "Fortunately it has an excellent track record at this point."

Vincent said nothing to encourage or discourage the department head, a man who didn't need either of those to do what he wanted. Well, the again, maybe not discouragement, short of pointing a gun or allowing Sephiroth to dig the edge of his sword into the man's neck for his intent. At that particular point/threat, yes, Simon probably would have changed his mind that this plan was such a wonderful idea. The man wasn't quite as manic as Hojo had been.

"James, have the Nanos sufficiently multiplied yet?"

"Almost, sir. They've just surpassed the 8 billion mark with minimal duplication errors. After this doubling, we'll be ready to begin."

"Excellent. When it's complete, prepare the injectors. I want to get this done without any more complications... Is Heather back yet? I'd like her to do a final analysis before we inject them."

"No, sir," the man said, his eyes back on the computer screen.

Simon frowned at the lab assistant for a moment, but then went back to his own work of breaking down the materia.

The ex-Turk forced himself to look away from the lead scientist. The people's words, the noises, the smells, the knowledge of what was happening - Everything ravaged every part of Vincent, all the way down to his soul or whatever was left of it. He didn't know how he managed to stay still. Years of solitude to practice in? His training as a Turk? Denial? Insanity of his own?

Trying to distract himself from whispers of warning that begged him to change his mind, Vincent walked to the glass and watched the unconscious man being stuck with needles and covered with sensors. If mankind could only acknowledge that life could work out its own course, most likely a better course, they'd be better off as a whole. He himself was unnaturally-living proof of that.

Ten minutes later, when a phone call did nothing to locate Heather, Simon dialed another. "Security, could you please locate Heather Cook? ...Yes, thank you."

The scientist frowned again, slamming the phone closed, and Vincent found himself holding his breath. If the man decided this wasn't going to happen without her, they'd all be waiting a very long time, Heather and her family being well outside of the city by now and untraceable.

"Sir, the final division is complete. We're ready to proceed."

Simon's finger scratched the phone he held for nearly five minutes, waiting for a call that never came. Again, he called someone, the man tense with impatience. "Has she been located? ...Okay. Thank you." He closed the phone and tapped his chin with it. Then he turned to the lab assistant again. "Let's proceed. I'd rather not risk any more complications."

Besides a total power failure, the only other obvious complication would be Cloud. Or perhaps a change of heart from a higher up.

The brunette pushed away from the computer, walked over to the containment unit, grabbed a pair of tongs, and gently pried several small tubes from the machine, each one decorated with a label. One by one, he pressed them carefully into a tray laid over with formed foam that kept the vials safe and separate. 

Vincent watched despite his revulsion, relief and nervousness creating an unsettling mix in his gut. Soon it would be over. And then the new challenge would begin: Getting Cloud out of the building without Sephiroth and any resulting deaths.

The lab assistant walked the tray into the glass-lined room. Other assistants matched up the vials to the appropriate entry points on Yazoo's body. When everyone stopped moving and looked to the lead scientist, Simon nodded. The woman didn’t hesitate in entering the command on the computer. As a whole, the procedure was silent, at least it was on Vincent's side of the glass. He watched the liquid in the vials being drained, and hoped Heather had done as she'd promised him she would. There was no turning back now.

The woman studied her monitor and then said to the people on the other side of the window. "The procedure is complete. The nanos have properly adhered and are responding."

"Excellent. Activate the inhibitors."

The woman nodded and went back to work on the computer.

Simon walked back to the machine that contained the materia. Only now, what he pulled out in a dish wasn't a materia, but rather lifestream. And this particular lifestream held the soul of a man whom the world as a whole didn't want, and for good reasons. The scientist carefully walked the matter into the other room and wasted no time in pouring it into the incision that had been made into the stomach of the unconscious body on the table. An assistant quickly stapled it shut.

For several long seconds, no one noticeably breathing, nothing happened. Every part of Vincent tensed with the anticipation of success and the underlining push for failure. It was a duality since he knew he couldn't, nor could anyone else, guarantee the outcome. It things went wrong... 

But still, he had hope.

In a blink of an eye, as if Sephiroth had always been on the table, and not Yazoo, white hair flooded over the sides of the metal, the form as a whole bulked, and the body breathed in a conscious breath, aquamarine eyes snapping open. If the man hadn't been strapped down, Vincent was sure he would have risen. As it was, he bucked at the restraints, apparently ignoring any possible pain from the multiple needles in his body. Wild eyes darted around the room, until they saw Simon. Every bit of rage focused on this one man, who had enough instinct in him to back up a step.

"What have you done?!" 

"We did what you wanted, Sephiroth. You're free of the materia and have been placed in Yazoo's body." The scientist stepped forward again. "Tell me, do you have your powers?"

That stopped the fight completely as the man seemed to take stock of his body. He frowned, and quietly admitted, more to himself, "No, I feel nothing."

"Then the inhibitors are working. Activate the controllers." After a few keypresses, Sephiroth went flat and utterly still, his eyes open and looking towards the ceiling, as if he was a living doll. Simon walked up to him, bent over slightly, and searched his face with a smile. "We've been working on this particular technology for years, using animals as the subjects. We've made remarkable progress with it, as you can see.... This is the first time we've been allowed to test it on a human, but only because, really, you're not human. You're not even an animal." The man looked to his assistants. "Prepare him for departure immediately."

Simon strolled away, his face smug, probably imagining all the things he could do with a Sephiroth puppet. Vincent could only watch it all happen, his face impassive, not revealing a trace of the horror surging, nor the prayer that Heather had done what she said she'd do to protect the people she loved.

"Thank you for your assistance, Mr. Valentine," the man said with a smile. "If you could deal with Strife, that would be most appreciated. I promise you, we're going to make sure this man never hurts another soul as long as he lives."

Ignoring the false promise, Vincent instead turned to the more pressing matter: Deal with Cloud? This man obviously had no idea what Vincent was up against. Had no idea that Cloud loved Sephiroth, although if he'd paid attention for but a moment, he would have seen that. 

Nonetheless, Vincent nodded. "I'll deal with him." Then he turned away, heading straight to the room where he knew he was about to meet one of the greatest oppositions of his life.


	9. Chapter 9

A solid banging at the door didn't give Cloud much choice but to wake up. When he opened his eyes though, sitting up, he looked around the room and couldn't figure out where he was for another set of bangs. When it clicked, he jerked his gaze down to the area next to him and realized Sephiroth wasn't laying with him anymore.

"Cloud?" came through the door.

The man jerked his head towards the voice, one he knew quite well. But then his eyes drifted back to the empty stop on the bed. There were two reasons Sephiroth wouldn't have been there: Either Sephiroth had left him during the night. Or Vincent had put him back inside the materia. 

With no more consideration, he shoved himself off the bed, panicking, and searched through his clothing. It took two attempts of feeling up the cloth before he could convince himself that the materia wasn't there. Then he started looking again.

Another couple of bangs. He looked at the door. Vincent was the most convenient possibility for knowledge at that point, so he stood up, and stalked to the door. When he opened it, Vincent wasted no time in coming in. Cloud had little choice but to move to the side. It was either that or get plowed down by the other man. Vincent pulled the door out of his grasp and closed it solidly behind himself.

When crimson eyes latched onto him, taking in the length of Cloud's body, both of them finally realized he was quite naked. Vincent jerked his head away, looking towards the kitchenette. At the moment though, Cloud couldn't really have cared less what he was wearing, if anything. He just wanted to know where Sephiroth was.

And a second later, it became obvious to him that Vincent, his body stiff even for him, knew something. "What's happened? Do you have the materia?"

"No, I don't. Get dressed. We need to leave."

"Vincent, I'm not leaving without - What's happened?"

When Vincent re-fixed his gaze on him, Cloud recognized the worry, the frustration, the impulse to shove him at the clothing whether he wanted to get dressed or not. Normally the man showed nothing of his emotions. Cloud had always assumed that came from his training and experience as a Turk. 

But right then, he really didn't care about Vincent's emotions or lack of. Something had definitely happened, and the ex-Turk was going to start talking.

"Cloud..." Crimson eyes closed for a brief second as the man drew in an attempt at a calming breath. "We're on a time limit. If you want to save him, we need to leave now."

"Are you being serious? I'm not leaving without him. You need to tell me what happened."

"Fine. Get dressed and I'll tell you while you do." The man looked away again, not saying another word.

If that was what it took to get answers, then whatever. He stalked back over to his hastily shed clothing and began to yank the items on. After a bit of fighting with the cloth, Vincent began with, "Sephiroth took the materia and attempted to kill himself."

That stopped him midstride on working his pants up his legs. Said so bluntly, it took Cloud's breath away. His heart rammed in his chest. He couldn't believe Sephiroth would have done that, not after working so hard to live, not after they'd... Not after last night. But then again, Sephiroth had said as much hours before. But Cloud hadn't wanted to hear it. Didn't think Sephiroth would just go and...

"You said, 'attempted.'"

"Yes. Keep getting dressed." Vincent refused to continue until he had worked his pants all the way up and was buttoning them. "They shut down the power to Felicia's lab and I took the materia to the lab Yazoo's body was in."

"Was?"

When Vincent didn't reply right away, Cloud shoved his shirt down the rest of the way. He looked at the other man, not able to believe what Vincent was saying, that he'd willingly participated in something neither Cloud nor presumably Sephiroth had agreed to. Well, then again, maybe Sephiroth had.

"Did he agree to it?"

"No. I didn't give him a choice."

Cloud sucked in a shuddering breath, his mind red, and then stalked up to the other man, shoving him against the door. Vincent was much taller, as tall as Sephiroth, and probably just as strong, if not stronger considering what was inside of him, but either Vincent let him to it, or... 

Cloud really looked at him and saw the acceptance in Vincent's eyes. He realized the man had already accepted his fury, probably even before he'd walked in the door.

Nonetheless, Cloud growled, "You had no right to do that."

The gunman watched him carefully. "I know. But I did it anyway. I did it for many reasons. But mostly I did it to give him a chance. Please, get dressed."

Cloud wanted to shake him, punch him, strangle him. But, really, what would that have helped? Well, it would have helped give an outlet for a rage he normally buried within himself underneath his presumed apathy. 

In the end though, Cloud's mind got the better of him. Vincent still -was- his easiest source for answers after all. So he forced himself to let go, wishing he could burn the man with his glare at least. He instead set back to work on the rest of his miscellaneous clothing that had been hastily pulled off when Sephiroth and he had made love.

The ex-Turk studied him for a moment, making his skin crawl with his emotions he was trying to contain. "If he hadn't attempted to kill himself, before he went through with it, I would have tried to explain to you both what I had planned. But unfortunately, he gave me little choice."

The words released at least a bit of the tension. "You had this planned out?"

"Yes. I'll explain the rest to you when we're out of the building. We need to leave before they find some excuse to make you stay. As it is, they already have reasons to. I'd rather no one die today."

Did Vincent really expect him to just leave without Sephiroth? It appeared that he did.

With a humorless huff, his heart saying 'absolutely not' to leaving, Cloud asked, "Is it a good plan?"

"Yes. As good as we're going to get at the moment. But like I said, we're on a time limit."

Cloud had to bury all of his anxiety and cover it with his trust for the man before him. Unfortunately, at the moment, that trust was thin. But he did it because Vincent seemed to believe what he was saying was the best way. With his lack of knowledge, his only other option was to go tearing through the place. "We're going to get him? You swear it?"

"Yes, I swear it."

"Fine then. Let's go."

The gunman nodded to him and walked out the door. Cloud grabbed his sword and followed, closing the door behind himself. The hallways were busier than the night before, but clear enough to not give them much trouble as the made their way to the exit. The swordsman held his breath as they walked past the guards at the front, but either they weren't being held, or the new shift hadn't known to hold them. 

The soft morning contrasted with the harshness of his limbs. Everything in him wanted to burst back into the building, find Sephiroth, and get him the hell out of there. But he didn't even know if the man was still in there. 

The man...

When they bounded over a second rooftop, his heart racing again, Cloud grabbed Vincent's arm, stopping them both. "It worked? What they did worked? He's human?"

Vincent paused, eyeing him. And then, with a small smile offered, he murmured, "Yes. Well, as human as he's ever going to be."

It was one of the few moments in Cloud's life where he didn't know what he was supposed to feel, and instead felt just about every emotion there was. Vincent had said he'd given Sephiroth a chance. Another chance at life. Before, the swordsman hadn't known whether or not to be happy over the scientist's proposal. He still wasn't sure. But now, he couldn't stop the glow inside of himself. They had a chance. And now they had no choice but to take it.

Cloud couldn't help the quirk of his own lips, no matter the risk for failure. "So what are we going to do?"

"We're going to get ahead of the transport and ambush it. They're taking Sephiroth to the new WRO headquarters." Vincent took a moment to study the landscape and then pointed. They'll be using that road. "Get your motorcycle and meet me at the edge of town. We have to time this right."

What was all the time talk? "Time it right? Why?"

Vincent met his gaze, his face stone. "Because if we don't, we may have to kill Sephiroth. The nanos they injected they can control him, allow them to see through his eyes even. Right now, he's a weapon, who undoubtedly knows what he's doing, even if he can't stop it."

The glow inside of him was shot down. "And you let them do this, knowing?"

"Yes. The programmer who scripted the nanos, she told me Parker's plans after a bit of persuasion. It didn't take much. She liked what they were doing as little as I do. She has a family, children, after all, and lived through what happened in Midgar. She was willing to change the programming. Afterwards, I assisted her and her family in getting out of the city." 

Vincent dug into his pocket and pulled out his phone. "We have approximately 73 minutes before the changes take effect. Until then, we won't engage. But we have to time it right because Sephiroth isn't going to be happy when he regains control of his body. And unfortunately, he's not going to have the power to back himself up. His strength will be there since that's purely physical. But he'll no longer have Jenova's abilities, nor will he be able to use materia again. It was one of Mrs. Cook's stipulations, and I agree with her."

Cloud crossed his arms over chest, gripping his upper arms, distancing himself with his anxiety. "You left him defenseless?"

"Well, he'll have you." 

A blush swam over his skin, and he looked away. He couldn't help it. He also couldn't imagine Sephiroth going along with the whole idea. Sephiroth depending on him? Yeah right, like he'd do that willingly. "He's not going to like it."

"No, he won't. But he doesn't have a choice. And you're going to have to leave Edge. Or at least, he'll have to. It won't be safe for him here."

"...Would he be safe anywhere?" The question wasn't really for Vincent, since he already knew the answer: No, Sephiroth wouldn't be. Even if they could find a quiet place, there was always the risk of discovery.

"I don't know." Vincent eyed the old WRO headquarters that was steadily being abandoned over the course of a few weeks. "They should be leaving any minute now. I'll meet you outside of town."

Then the ex-Turk was bounding off. Cloud watched him, trying his best to absorb everything. Just two days before, his life had been so different. Not necessarily better, just different and less, well, complex. But this day, he now knew, his life could get so much worse. It was a burden he hadn't been prepared for. It was one thing to run away with Sephiroth as a summon he could command and store away at will. It was quite another to do it with a living, breathing man who the world hated.

The weight of everything felt crushing, but then again, he was used to that kind of weight after a lifetime of it.

Cloud wrenched his gaze away and continued on to his house. Well, maybe it wasn't his house anymore. Nonetheless, he keyed in the code near the garage door and wasted no time in mounting his motorcycle, putting on his goggles and driving onto the busy street. He didn't want to deal with Tifa confronting him at that moment, not when she'd only try to stop him. Then again, maybe she wouldn't. Maybe she'd even come along, knowing that WRO had such a destructive weapon at hand, and would hopefully not kill Sephiroth outright. 

But no, he wouldn't involve her. He loved her too much to put her in danger again, especially when she wasn't looking for it, her main concerns being the Marlene and Denzel.

When he reached the outskirts of town, he spotted Vincent on a rocky cliff. He drove up to it as Vincent shouldered his long bag and jumped off, landing softly, unheard over the vibrations of his motorcycle. Then the man grabbed his cloak, pulling it around himself, and mounted the bike behind him. Together, they raced time, following the road from a couple mile distance.

Near his ear, Vincent said, "They passed by about five minutes ago. Unfortunately, there are two vehicles. We'll have to stop both since I can't tell which one Sephiroth is inside, if he's in either. But I saw Parker in the first one, so there's a good chance he is inside."

Cloud nodded, driving on the rocky terrain like it was the road itself, with a bit more maneuvering anyway. Soon, they passed the vehicles the ex-Turk had talked about, mere spots in the distance. After about forty minutes of driving, Vincent told him to stop. He pulled up near the road, on a rocky cliff that overlooked it. He ditched the motorcycle behind a boulder and crouched down next to Vincent who was laying on the ground, scanning the road with the scope of his rifle.

"I'll take out the tire of the first vehicle when they get close. They're five minutes away." The man closed the scope. "Once they're in range and disabled, we'll have about four minutes before we take them out. Can you use a sniping rifle? I'd rather they not know it was us."

I'm not the best shot, but I can shoot." 

"You just have to hit them someplace soft, but avoid the face, if you can. The tranquilizers will do the rest." Vincent rolled on his side, pulled another rifle out of his bag, and handed it to Cloud. "Stay low."

He wasn’t going to admit it out loud, but this sneaking around stuff had never been his thing. He normally went in, sword swinging, not afraid to announce his presence, because he knew he was going to kick some ass in some weird 'I'm-a-SOLDIER!...not' kind of way. For instance, in the ShinRa tower, he wasn't afraid to take the elevator. Who the hell would ever want to take a mile of stairs just to avoid some confrontation? Of course, the cross-dressing episode...

Cloud shook his head at the memories and laid down next to the gunman. The rocks bit at his elbows, so he smoothed the ground out a bit, and then re-aimed and opened the scope. With the scope that automatically focused, he could see them easily. He could even see the bored expression on Parker's face as the man typed into a laptop propped up on his legs. He closed the scope.

"Two minutes. Just shoot everyone who comes into your view, once and fast. Go for anyone that looks like they're talking on something first. Between the two of us, doubling the shot, well, doubles the chance of a good hit. ...Or at least, one and a half times."

Cloud snorted. "You do realize I'm still going to hurt you after this."

"Of course."

The swordsman couldn't tell if Vincent was sarcastic or serious. He blew out a breath. "But thank you. For saving him."

"He would have been 'saved' with or without my intervention."

"Maybe. But least you got to that programmer."

_While I was busy screwing Sephiroth's brains out._

Vincent merely made a small affirmative grunt.

Cloud scowled at his companion, before he looked back to the distance, the targets close. "God, Vincent, learn how to take some gratitude every once in a while. Sometimes you do deserve it."

This time he could hear the man's smile. "Sometimes. One minute."

Breathe, Cloud told himself. He knew his aim had to be true. It was a good thing he had been a trooper, even if not a SOLDIER. The experience had taught him how to use a gun, something his mother had no interest in. He ran through his mind what his drill instructor had told him, repeatedly: Aim at the target, breath in, let half the air out, steady and aim again, slowly pull back on the trigger, not jerking and risking misfire, firing, and finally exhale. And rinse and repeat until everyone and everything was dead.

"Wait until my word. We want to let most of them get out of the vehicles before we take them out, if possible. We have the time to spare... I'm taking out the first vehicle." The gunman opened the scope and took a shot hushed by the silencer. 

The tire blew, causing the driver to jerk to the right and then jam on the breaks, coming to a quick stop. During this, Vincent snapped the scope closed, traded rifles with one that had been on the ground next to him, and re-aimed, all in a second. The other transporter braked, stopping several feet behind it.

The strong impulse to do more than just lie on the ground took hold, but Cloud fought it with gritted teeth and the barest trembling of his body. 

Both of the drivers got out and, together, they examined the wheel, one crouching down and running his hand over it. Their voices barely reached them. Cloud couldn't understand them, but they didn't seem to think it anything out of the ordinary. Another person came out. And then another one, who took to merely stretching a bit, looking out over the horizon.

"Two minutes."

"Parker isn't getting out. ...What's he doing?"

"Putting on headgear?"

"I can see that. Why?"

Vincent was suddenly board silent, and Cloud knew something was definitely wrong. "Fuck."

At the word, Cloud saw it too. It was Sephiroth, walking calmly out of the back of the second vehicle. White hair fluttered in the breeze as the man took in the landscape. Cloud couldn't see his face, and the man wasn't wearing his armor but rather sweatpants and a t-shirt, but there was no doubt who it was. 

His gut clenching, Cloud whispered, "We're shooting him?"

"A tranquilizer isn't going to stop him."

"How about lots of them?"

"I don't know. One minute."

Then, Sephiroth crouched and shot up into the air. Both men, as well as others, watched his accent. 

Cloud couldn't breathe for a moment. "You're sure about the time?"

"Yes..."

"He's going to die."

"I know. If he falls, catch him. I'll take out them out."

Hundreds of feet up in the air, Sephiroth twirled slowly in place, taking in the whole of the landscape. Then just when Cloud thought his gaze would keep going, the man stopped and stared right in their direction. 

"Take Parker out," Cloud hissed.

"If I do, nothing will be controlling him. He'll fall."

Darkness suddenly swirled from oblivion, centralizing above Sephiroth's head. The darkness amassed into a cloud that spread in all directions, blotting out the rising sun.

"He's going to fall either way! Just fucking do it!"

The gunman took a split second before he switched rifles again, took aim, and shot repeatedly at the same spot, weakening the bullet proof glass. The people around the vehicle suddenly started racing around, scrambling to grab weapons. Although his heart was slamming, Cloud forced himself to take careful aim and shoot, at the same time Vincent finally broke through the glass. Cloud shot again and again. Three of them dropped. There were at least five left and Parker, if Vincent hadn't gotten him. Vincent switched rifles again and shot the remaining two who were still in view.

"Did you get him?"

"I don't know. The glass is too cracked."

As he said it, black tendrils dived down from the clouds, ripping up the landscape into flying dust and rocks. The world became a ball of unbreathable debris. Vincent leapt off of the cliff, sprinting to the disabled vehicle. A shadow behind him, Cloud followed, covering his face so he could breathe a bit easier. His lungs burned, and he choked on the air, but continued forward. Luckily he'd kept his goggles on.

It'd been a minute, hadn’t it? Maybe Vincent was off with the time. Cloud prayed he was.

When they reached the vehicle, the whole mass of it jostling about in the wind, Vincent yanked the driver's side and shot five times, the flashes of light basically the only light in the corroded darkness. The wind weakened as the tendrils around them began to recede. Cloud tried to look up, but the sky was still too dusty and dark too see anything that could be Sephiroth.

Still looking up at the sky, trying to find any trace of his lover, Vincent took out the remaining people coldly and efficiently.

Then the ex-Turk was back at his side. "Do you see him?"

"No. ...Wait."

A streak of light shot down out of the sky. Well, it looked like light in the comparable darkness. Cloud knew what and who it was and would have anyway even if he'd not known to look for him. There could be no mistaking the man he'd known for so long and held so many emotions for, both good and bad. He wasted no more time and leapt into the air, coming up under Sephiroth, catching him in his arms. His legs jarred at the landing with the extra weight and Sephiroth's cumbersome length. And then he laid him on the ground.

The ex-General was unconscious. Maybe that was for normal reasons. Or maybe whatever the programmer had done hadn't worked. Or maybe Sephiroth was still under the nanobots control. He didn't have a clue. "What's wrong with him?"

"I don't know. Perhaps the disconnect overloaded his mind. Or the nanos haven't switched over. Or..."

"Try the headgear."

Vincent nodded, stalked to vehicle, reached inside, and pulled the laptop and gear away from the unconscious man. He slipped it on and fiddled with the keyboard. Whatever he was doing, it wasn't waking Sephiroth up. Cloud pulled the goggles off of his face, and then stroked a hand through dirty white locks of hair and realized he was really touching hair. At another time, it would have brought untold pleasure. Now, it brought tears to his eyes as his face clenched.

It couldn't be over. They couldn't have come this far only to fail. Life couldn't be that cruel.

When tears fell, at everything, not just the man barely breathing before him, he dropped his head to Sephiroth's chest. But the tears were mostly for Sephiroth because his lover was the one lying there. And to hell with anyone who said the ex-psychotic man deserved it. He clutched at the man's shirt, begging in his mind to anyone, anything for just a bit of mercy.

"We'll take him with us."

He shook his head through a sob. "They saw us. What are we going to do? What... I'm so sorry I brought you into this."

"Cloud... He may be all right. And I came into this willingly knowing the possible consequences. Let's just take him and go." A hand touched his shoulder and he had to fight against ripping away. "Let's go."

No matter how he pulled, he couldn't keep the swordsman against him. Instead, Vincent heaved him up, forcing Cloud to lose his contact. He watched the two walking away, his mind so full of... something... despair, agony, love? He didn't know. But it felt like he was dying from it.

"Cloud, let's go. Now."

Nearly a minute later, he managed to stand up on wobbly legs, picking up the rifle with him, wiping at tears that didn't seem to want to dry up. Then he stumbled more than he walked to the distant motorcycle.

Was just wanting this one thing, wanting Sephiroth, for himself too much to ask for?


	10. Chapter 10

"Head to Kalm. There's a house on Spring Court. Number 246. The woman who lives there will have something for you." Vincent said, placing the laptop and headgear into a compartment at the back of Cloud's motorcycle. "And don't turn on the laptop, unless you have good reason. I couldn't access the injected nanos from it, which is a good thing. But if there -is- a way to access them, you're going to find out sooner or later. Be prepared for it."

There could be no doubt that the WRO would attempt to do just that. Cloud nodded to his friend and tightened the cord securing the unconscious ex-SOLDIER's arms around his chest.

Vincent walked to his side, looking them both over. "It goes without saying, but keep him covered and stay off radar. You can charter a boat from Kalm, or continue on, but I would advise getting off the continent as soon as you can."

Gripping the handlebars, Cloud nodded again while refusing to focus anymore on the deadweight at his back. Any thought in that direction clenched his heart. "What are you going to do?"

"I'm heading back to Edge to talk to Reeve before Parker can. I'm, well, I'm going to plead our case." Vincent smiled slightly at Cloud, crossing his arms. "Knowing him, he'll listen. I seriously doubt he knew the extent of what Parker and the others had been planning. The last thing he wants is more deaths." He pursed his lips for a moment. "I'm sure I'll be able to secure Mrs. Cook's pardon. But as for you, well, we'll see."

"Yeah..." He smiled at the other man. "Maybe someday." He suddenly wanted to embrace his friend, but it would have been a bit awkward, again, for the reason at his back he didn't want to think about. "Vincent... You have no idea how much I appreciate what you've done."

Vincent's smile increased, and he looked back towards Edge. "You still have a long road ahead of you. Don't thank me yet."

With a huff and a shake of his head, against his better judgement, Cloud put a hand over the arms wrapped around him, suddenly missing the pulse of energy he'd felt from Sephiroth just hours before. "You're always going to have my thanks... Be careful."

"You too. Keep him safe for me and his mother. If you ever need to contact me, you know how," the gunman murmured.

For a moment the ex-Turk searched Cloud's face. Whatever he found there seemed to satisfy him. Vincent took a step back and then Chaos overtook his body. The beat of wing blew dust in the air as the man took off to the west.

Cloud watched after him for a short time, feeling the loss. But then he revved up his motorcycle, joined the road, and headed northeast to Kalm. Pressed up against him, the unconscious man jolted and swayed with every movement of the motorcycle. The whole of it set off nerves he didn't know he'd had, well, at least ones he hadn't felt for years.

The whole of it...

Even weeks before, he hadn't felt this way when he'd killed Sephiroth for the third time. Not that Sephiroth had truly been killed, not in the 'returned to the planet' sense, anyway. And really, had it even been an actual death, with or without the materia being created? Thinking back on it, it seemed more like Kadaj had been possessed by an evil spirit, than actually replaced by Sephiroth.

Would Sephiroth simply flutter away again if Yazoo's body was dying, as it'd happened with Kadaj? Probably...

He had to keep the man safe. 

The burden of everything weighted on him, but he took it as his own and continued on the road, even as other people flashed through his mind: Tifa, Barret, Marlene, and Denzel, the people he'd spent the last two years with. They were his family, as close as blood. He hoped that one day they would forgive him, even if they couldn't completely understand his actions.

When he arrived in town, he soon found the street and house. With a carefulness, he untied Sephiroth's arms and did his best to ignore the red welts from the binding. Covered in the cloak Vincent had thought to bring with him, he maneuvered Sephiroth's body onto his back, his arms over his shoulders and holding his upper thighs. He walked his burden to the house and knocked with a foot.

Right away, he heard fast footsteps. The woman who answered smiled at him and opened the door wider, letting him through. "You must be Cloud. Come in. You can lay him on the coach."

He didn't recognize her, but it didn't really matter who she was. He was just glad to see a smiling face. Of course, if she'd known who was on his back... Well, maybe she did know. He couldn't be sure. But she didn't seem to have any obvious fear in her eyes or voice, so...

"Have you eaten lunch?"

Cloud shook his head as he sat down on the coach, releasing Sephiroth's limp body, and then laid his charge down carefully, keeping him covered.

Her smile grew. "Good, well, not good, but I have some leftovers I was keeping warm for you."

"That'll work. Thank you," Cloud murmured, crouching down, brushing long strands of white hair under the cloak. "I need to get back on the road soon anyway."

"Of course." The woman's smile could be heard. "Anything for my cousin's friend."

Surprised by the notion of Vincent having family, even though he obviously had to have family somewhere, blonde spikes swung as he turned his head to look her over. She didn't resemble Vincent. Well, except for her short black hair, but that didn't really mean anything. "You're related to Vincent?"

"Yes, although I didn't even know he existed until two years ago. My mom thought he was dead and, well, they were a bit estranged, apparently. Still are, really. But she's in Wutai and I'm here, so..." She shrugged as she filled a plate with food from a couple of pans on the stove.

The raven-haired woman brought it over to the table, and he joined her, however reluctant he was to move away from Sephiroth. But he had to eat something. It wouldn't serve either of them if he starved.

She eyed the limp body on her couch. "Is he okay?"

Cloud looked over as well. "I don't know." And then in a vain effort to distance himself before he ran back over there, the man proceeded to eat the slightly dried-out spiced chicken and potatoes. But it tasted good so he had no problem shoveling it in.

The woman giggled. "It's not that good."

Blonde brows shot up and then he smiled. "It's good."

"Oh! I have something for you." She pushed away from the table and returned quickly with a small bag. "There's enough cash in there to last a long while."

The man eyed it for a moment and then put down his fork and opened it. It was a great deal of money, actually. "From Vincent?"

"Yes. He transferred it to my account." She smiled. "He said, 'He'll need it where he'll be going.'"

Which wasn't much of anywhere. He smiled back at her. "Tell him 'thank you' for me. Again."

"Of course."

Then something occurred to him. "What's your name, anyway?"

"Oh. Lilith, but everyone calls me Lil. I have no..." Her eyes latched onto the body behind him, blinking at it. "He moved."

For a heartbeat, Cloud didn't know what she was talking about. The next, he jerked his body around and scrutinized the other man, his pounding heartbeat now heard in his head. Then he saw it: A bare arm shifted and moved oh-so-slowly to the man's concealed head, pushing at the cloak. Cloud shoved at the chair and bolted to his side, crouching down. Sephiroth's hand trembled. Cloud grabbed it, stopping it.

"Not here," he whispered. He didn't know what Vincent had told her and didn't want to take the risk of her finding out and not liking the idea.

"I... I don't feel well." Suddenly, the man heaved.

Wide-eyed, Cloud searched around for some type of bucket. The closest thing he could find was a magazine holder. He dumped it out, ignoring the woman's exclamation, and put it near Sephiroth's head, urging the man forward with his other hand. The white-haired man barely made it in time. Nothing but a bit cloudy white fluid came out. The man's body probably hadn't eaten anything solid for weeks, being fed through tubes. Cloud pushed back his hair, trying to keep it away from his face, as Sephiroth kept heaving, even though nothing more came out.

The woman was at his side, stone silent. It was then that he realized he'd given a clear view of the other man's face. He looked up at her. She was staring at Sephiroth. "That's..." No, she apparently hadn't been told. "Why... How did..."

Apparently she didn't want to say the words, probably fearing they'd make the whole thing concrete. He could understand that.

"Does-Does Vincent know who..."

"Yes.

"But you're... You... You killed him."

"Yes..."

At the word, Sephiroth finally seemed to have enough sense to look up at him, at both of them. The woman backed up a step. And then another.

"He can't hurt you."

Well, outside of strangling her, Cloud supposed, but he doubted that was presently Sephiroth's primary thought. Then again...

And really, he didn't know whether or not Sephiroth could use magic. For all he knew, they might have been back to where they were a few weeks prior, and he'd have to kill the man all over again.

"Look, we'll leave," he said when she backed up another step as Sephiroth slowly pushed himself upright. Cloud gripped his upper arms and helped him steady himself. "We're leaving." Then he readjusted the cloak and pulled Sephiroth forward, trying to urge him to his feet. "Come on, let's go. We need to leave."

The white-haired man stared at him but didn't resist. He got him to his feet, and then, with his arm draped over his shoulder, he put his arm around his waist and walked him towards the door. Then he remembered himself and changed course, walking to the table and grabbing the bag, and finally headed out the door, closing it solidly behind himself.

Unnerving him, Sephiroth didn't say a thing outside of his ragged breaths. He got the man to his motorcycle, putting the bag in a compartment, steadied Sephiroth as the man swung his leg over, and then mounted it himself.

In what was basically an escape, he drove straight to the docks. It took a bit of asking around, but eventually he found a man who was willing to take them to the western continent, no questions asked, for an exuberant price. After helping Sephiroth, who still swayed with every step, to a bench on the boat, he pushed his motorcycle on board. Within ten minutes, Kalm was a distant dot behind them.

Cloud sat next to his... Well, at that point, considering everything, Cloud didn't know what Sephiroth was to him.

A half an hour later, seeming to have regained most of his strength, Sephiroth sat stiffly, as stiffly as one could on a rocking boat at least. He wouldn't even look at Cloud, let alone talk to him. Surely the man had questions, but maybe he'd been able to figure things out on his own.

When they could no longer see land, with the waves roughing up the boat as it coasted along, Cloud edged over to his motorcycle and dug into it. He pulled out a ration, something he ate on the road when his job took him far. He opened the foil wrapping and handed it to his companion. White brows down, aquamarine eyes studied it like it was poison.

"You should eat something," Cloud said loudly enough to be heard over the wind and motor. "At least try to." Broth or something similar would have been best until his stomach settled, but he didn't have that.

Sephiroth wouldn't take it, so Cloud merely held onto it and tried to be patient, no matter how much he wanted to force the other man to take care of himself. An hour later, the driver offered both of them some bottled water from a cooler. He took it with his thanks and gave one to Sephiroth. The acceptance built up a bit of hope. Sephiroth opened the bottle and sipped slowly, wincing nonetheless, probably from stomach cramps.

It wasn't until dark had fallen that the man finally looked at him. Cloud tried to ignore it at first, not quite ready anymore for a confrontation, but then he looked back and pressed his lips together at the serious expression.

"You left Edge," Sephiroth stated.

"Yeah, we don't have much of a choice."

The man stared at him, unsettling him so much that he wanted to hide himself away. But with no place to hide, he merely sat there and took it. Finally, Sephiroth stated, "You always have a choice."

Cloud gritted his teeth. "No. I don't."

The man's lips curved just slightly which settled him and riled him up for many different reasons. "You have a choice, whether or not you want it."

He'd let him have that. Blue eyes studied him before he looked out to the water, adding, "Well, you have a choice now too."

Sephiroth didn't reply. Perhaps he didn't want to argue. And for what reason? Tiredness? Pointlessness? Acceptance?

Cloud couldn't help but look back at him. He'd... He'd never seen the man look so, well, miserable. Sephiroth was hunched over, mostly hidden by the cloak. His face was tense. His whole body was tense. Cloud wanted to touch him but he didn't know if that would make a bit of difference.

The other man had never sought out physical attention, at least not as far as Cloud knew. What they'd done together in the last two days... Had it been all Cloud, Sephiroth just responding to him because he had no other real choice in the matter? Could it have all been just simple manipulation to an end in Sephiroth's best interest?

The further the train of thought took him, the more miserable he himself became. 

Really, what were they to one another? Friends? Lovers? Enemies? Were they only together at that moment because Sephiroth hadn't yet gathered himself together enough to abandon him or use him again? What was going to happen when they landed? Would he leave the moment Cloud's back was turned? Or not even bother waiting?

Over years and years, their destinies had come together over and over again. In the end though, besides that day in Nibelheim when Sephiroth had had no use for him, when he had been merely an obstacle, it had always been just Sephiroth using him for some purpose. And what purpose did this have? 

It didn't have any.

This was just life. Living one day to the next. This was not the way Sephiroth, the experiment, the SOLDIER, the destroyer of a planet, lived.

Perhaps this, a life with him, was just too much to ask for. Perhaps it just wasn't what Sephiroth wanted. Perhaps...

Perhaps he was still just that boy who had a childhood crush on his idol. And the said idol didn't even know he existed.

Outside of the boat bucking the waves and the chilled wind, the rest of the boat ride was completely silent. The longer the silence lasted, the more Cloud was sure he was right. Sephiroth was going to leave him the moment he could. And outside of physically restraining him, there wasn't a thing he could do about it.


	11. Chapter 11

Even with the night more than half over, lights blared in the distance and a din carried over on the salty, cool breeze. And the two men walked the docks alone. After all, few people bothered boating at night with far more pleasurable entertainment in Costa del Sol itself, a resort city that never slept.

His bag of cash a bit lighter, Cloud pushed his motorcycle over the uneven planks of the dock. Sephiroth shadowed behind him, noiseless to his own heavy footsteps. Drowning Cloud in anxiety, no words passed Sephiroth's mouth, not since the few on the boat hours before. But Cloud didn't feel like he should be the one to break the silence. Surely if Sephiroth wanted to talk, he would. Right?

...But surely the man had questions. About something. Anything. But he didn't even question their destination.

The whole of it could only bring Cloud to one conclusion, the same one that had been with him on the boat: Sephiroth was going to leave him. He would. Cloud didn't dare hope otherwise. And he was shocked the man hadn't left the second they'd docked. Why was he still with him?

Cloud couldn't help but glance back, repeatedly, certain every time Sephiroth wouldn't be there. Even as the looks bordered on obsession, he couldn't stop looking. The man never met his eyes, his head hanging, looking to the ground.

When booted feet reached the cement of the inclined road, Cloud looked behind one more time and then stopped completely. His own dread of the inevitable was making him lightheaded, let alone pushing the heavy bike uphill on an empty stomach and little sleep.

Sephiroth stopped behind him, finally looking at him, but not seeming to see him.

Cloud searched his face. There was nothing tangible. He gritted his teeth.

God, he just couldn't do this anymore. He'd been trying for hours. He'd been calm, tried to be there as support, a friend if Sephiroth needed it, but...

Maybe he himself needed those things more than his ex-commander did.

"Sephiroth..." Cloud pressed his lips together, stopping the words, not wanting to bring this to a quicker end than it had to be. But then as Sephiroth finally frowned, Cloud started to shake his head as his face clenched, holding back unwanted tears.

Just hold it in. Just...

His mouth betrayed him with, "Sephiroth, I can't do this. I can't. I just... can't. You have to start talking to me. I can't stand this. I mean, I'm constantly worrying every single fucking second, wondering when you're going to... Do you have any..."

Did this man have any idea what he'd lost in the last two days? What he was risking? Did he even care?

But if Cloud was honest with himself, they were unfair questions. Sephiroth had no one. He hadn't really had anyone when he'd still been human. Surely if he had, he wouldn't have done what he'd done seven years before. And he definitely hadn't had anyone since then and seemed perfectly willing to go on that way, resurrecting himself over and over again with the intent of killing every last person on the planet, him included.

Just weeks before, Sephiroth had come back. And what had been the first thing he'd done? He'd tried to kill Cloud yet again. The planet would have been next.

No, he couldn't expect Sephiroth to understand. And he was done merely hoping. He needed something more concrete. He needed...

"You need to tell me what you're going to do." When Sephiroth still didn't talk, Cloud hit the kickstand and stalked up to the other man, finally more than ready to grab him and do... something. 

God, he wished the man would attack him or something. Anything more than merely staring at him! He wanted something to react to so that he could follow through in a way that was so much more familiar and welcome than this.

Did this man have any clue in the world how well Cloud was wrapped around his finger?

"Please..."

Had the man's skin and hair not been so pale and not facing the distant light of the city, Cloud probably wouldn't have seen the man's eyes close. It was at that moment, with the loss of their penetrating gaze, he realized Sephiroth's eyes no longer glowed or at least not nearly as strongly as they once had. It took him back. 

Was this remnant's body only a part of the strength Sephiroth once had? Was that why he'd defeated the Sephiroth in Kadaj's body so relatively easily than he had two years before, when the man had seemed to have an infinite number of forms, including one of a one-winged angel?

But then what had been the power he'd felt in the materia? Well, perhaps that had been his full potential, but this body limited it.

So distracted by the controversy, Cloud almost didn't notice when Sephiroth's eyes latched back onto him. He did notice the renewed frown though, the traces of unease and maybe even fear that stiffened Sephiroth's body. It occurred to him then that perhaps Sephiroth was feeling just as vulnerable as he was and with considerably more reason to be. The notion stilled him, at least physically.

"I'm sorry," Cloud blurted out, his voice lined in rage directed at so many things. "Just forget I said anything."

Before the man could respond, Cloud turned on his heel and started shoving his motorcycle up the hill again. Half way up, he couldn't help turning his head and realized Sephiroth was still standing at the same spot. At that point, he couldn't park the monstrosity of metal without it rolling right back down. So he turned it sideways, flipped down the stand, and backed away slowly. He let out a breath when it stayed and then stalked back down the hill.

He knew he should have just kept going up. If the man was going to follow, he'd do it on his own, but, God, this whole thing, every single bit of it, was just pissing him off to no end, especially with Sephiroth just standing there like a disobedient child trying to egg him on. 

Growing up as a forced loner, two years ago, this wouldn't have bothered him so much. He would have just said, whatever, and went on with his life. But maybe living as an adult in a household with children for the last two years had domesticated him far more than he'd realized. Whatever the reason, if Sephiroth was just going to stand there like that, this was going to be resolved before Cloud could lose his hold on his sanity yet again.

"What? What's wrong?" He hated how much his out-of-control anger drenched his words, but he couldn't help it. He really should have just kept walking and let fate take care of itself.

Sephiroth just stared at him, searching his face with tiny flicks of his cat-like eyes.

Yeah, he was going to go insane. No doubt about it.

Cloud hugged himself, eyes clenching shut, lips pressed together before he said more things he'd regret.

Just walk away. Seriously. Just...

"Look, if you want leave, just do it. I'm not going to stop you." 

When the man still didn't say anything, he opened eyes again and realized Sephiroth's hand was just a breath away from his cheek. When their eyes locked, the soft skin touched him. It burned with heat, almost as much as Cloud's own skin.

Aquamarine eyes watched the tracing of his thumb as Cloud held his breath. A whisper, Sephiroth said, "I'm sorry. I... "

Cloud leaned into the caress, unable to help himself. It felt... it felt unreal to be touched in such a way by this man. Yes, Sephiroth had touched him just the night before and the day and night before that, and in a far more provocative way, but at the time, the man had basically been forced into his bed. Now...

"I don't..." Sephiroth started. The hand shifted back until it gripped blonde locks just harsh enough to make Cloud's breath hitch. "You shouldn't have done this. You should have let me go."

Was that what this was all about? "Why? Why would I let you go?" Awful tears sprouted again. Luckily they stayed in his eyes, at least for the time being.

"...Why wouldn't you?"

Was he kidding? Cloud frowned at the other man which forced the tears out. He hoped the other man couldn't see them in the darkness. "I already told you why I wouldn't."

The grip tightened until it was cringe worthy. Cloud finally released one arm's hold on his own body and gripped the hand at the back of his head. The tension in Sephiroth's hand instantly released. He brought it around, gripping it with his other hand as well, and pressed it to his lips, closing his eyes. His skin smelled of soap, tasted of traces of dust. Surely his own did too, minus the soap since, hours before, his body had been drenched in sex.

Sephiroth's hand suddenly clenched and pulled away from him. With the tension, Cloud let it go. 

His mind heading places Sephiroth obviously wasn't headed, he gritted his teeth, blowing a breath out of his nose. He tried to ignore the tingle still at his lips, never mind his groin since fortunately that wasn't completely obvious yet.

Yes, they were back at square one, but he should have expected that. And he had, really, but that didn't make reality hurt any less.

The air was crisp with tension. Cloud didn't know how to start alleviating it. Figures he had to go and add sexual tension to the list of tensions already making this a rather unpleasant night. 

Cloud blew out a breath. "Look, I'm going to see this through to the end. Let's just get a room for the night. Or two rooms, if you want. And then tomorrow we can figure out what we're going to do. But I'm tired. I'm really fucking tired, okay?"

The white-haired man took a couple of seconds but then nodded. At it, Cloud turned back around and started pushing his motorcycle up the hill again. When they got to the outskirts of the city, they found a hotel that looked only semi-busy, all of the action happening further down the streets.

He got some gear out of his motorcycle and locked it down, paid the man at the counter, and met Sephiroth near the entrance. Together they walked upstairs. 

At the door, Cloud looked at his, well, he still didn’t know what to call him. Companion? That seemed good enough. He slipped the keycard in the door, saying, "You didn't say anything so I just got one room with two beds." They entered but Cloud stayed at the door. "I'm going to find you some other clothes quick. This might be the only chance we have for a while. You're not going to fit into mine. I'll be back in a bit."

Not giving the other man a chance to answer, he closed the door solidly behind himself and stalked back out the main door. Quickly, he found himself walking down one of the main strips of road. One of the buildings was huge and looked like they had a shopping section. He went inside and found some clothing that screamed of paradise with its floral prints. An entire wall was lined in casual clothing he'd never seen Sephiroth wear before. With the help of a salesman who was more than happy to take the money from him, he bought several overpriced shirts and pants, in a couple of different sizes, in black when he could, and hoped at least half of it would fit.

"Will your friend be needing some dress shoes as well?" The man asked, all greedy smiles. 

"Uh..." He didn't have a clue what size shoe Sephiroth wore. Not for the first time, he realized he shouldn't have just stalked out the door like he had. "Boots maybe?"

"Actually, we do have hiking boots, for the tours to the mountains. Do you know the size he wears?" 

"No idea."

"Hmm, well, based on his height and weight, I'd guess perhaps a size 11." The man crossed his arms over his chest and played with his lip a bit, as if the whole prospect took considerable thought. "You could buy two or three pairs, a 10, 11, and 12 perhaps, and return the ones you won't be needing. We have them in black, green, and brown."

The man was probably hoping he wouldn't bother returning them. "Black will work. I'll just buy the three pairs."

"Excellent," the man purred and strolled off to the back. 

While Cloud waited, he walked over to the jewelry counter and looked over the watches. One caught his eye. It was a shiny black chrome with diamond accents at each hour. For a hunk of metal, it was nice. Nicer than anything he'd ever bothered to own.

Cloud startled when the salesman was suddenly behind him, saying, "Found something that catches your eye?"

"Uh, the black watch?"

The man smiled. "I'm guessing black is his favorite color."

"Well, I don't know if it's his favorite, but it's all I've ever seen him wear. I'll take it too." Vincent was going to kick his ass for blowing so much on luxury, the man's own red cape in tatters. Well, he didn't have to know. And Cloud had more than enough to pay him back, assuming his bank accounts weren't seized.

Grinning, the other man walked around the counter, leaving the shoes on it. "He's a lucky man. Or will he be paying you back?"

"No," Cloud smiled. "I owe him much more. I owe him my life, really. He made me who I am today. If that's a good thing."

"Ah, come now. It's a good thing, Mr. Strife," the man murmured, sounding more sincere than he had for the past hour.

Cloud raised his brows at the man. But really, he shouldn't have been too surprised. His face had been plastered all over the televisions and newspapers at one point. The events a few weeks ago had done nothing to squelch his fame. And he realized he was going to have to be as careful as Sephiroth if this was going to work.

After paying the man, Cloud took all the bagged merchandise in a couple of hands and walked briskly back to the hotel. Before he entered it though, he hid the watch away in his motorcycle. 

Inside the room, cloakless, Sephiroth was sitting on the chair, presumably just staring at the door, as that was all the man was doing when Cloud worked his way inside. Of course, that might have been because all of his baggage caused quite a commotion in the otherwise quiet room.

He put the bags down next to the bathroom. "I got a couple of sizes in a few things. Some socks and underwear. And three pairs of boots. I hope something fits. I don't want to go back there. And really, we should sleep and get out of here by daybreak. I was stupid and just walked in there, not even thinking about someone recognizing me. Well, the salesman did and who knows who else."

"We should just leave then."

"Yeah..." This was going to be more difficult than he'd previously thought. "We need to find some settlement that doesn't pay attention to the news. Or hell, just live off the land on our own. I mean, I can survive out there. I'm sure you can too."

"So," Sephiroth raised his brows, "we become mountain men?"

Cloud huffed and grinned. "Forgo shaving and showers, shit in holes in the ground, the works. Yeah." He shrugged. "Eventually no one will recognize us. Not even our mothers. It could work."

Sephiroth grinned at him. It took Cloud's breath away, so much that it lessened his smile. With the loss, Sephiroth's did too. 

After clearing his throat, his heart nonetheless thudding, Cloud offered, "Well, try this stuff on. I'm just going to lay down a bit. If I fall asleep, wake me up when you're done, and we'll head out."

With a nod, Sephiroth stood up and walked past him, grabbing the clothes and entering the bathroom. Although he laid down, for all of Cloud's words, he couldn't sleep with the slight sounds of rustling coming from the closed bathroom. He imagined it in his head, Sephiroth's nakedness, his flexing muscles working on clothing he'd picked out for him. It was so arousing that he took to burying his head under the pillows, hoping to block out the sounds or at least suffocate.

Fifteen minutes later, Sephiroth emerged in a casual black shirt and pants. Cloud raised his head to witness it and the sight did nothing to settle his body. The man looked unbelievably hot in the clothes. His defined muscles and wide shoulders curved the shirt in the right places, right down to his narrow hips. And the way the pants cupped his backside when he bent over to put the bags back down... It wasn't something a person normally saw with the armor Sephiroth wore. Cloud didn't think he'd ever be able to clean his eyes of the vision. And that was a good and bad thing. Bad right now because he really should have been sleeping.

"Most of it fit. Not exactly mountain man clothing though."

Despite himself, Cloud grinned again. "Well, we'll rough it up soon enough. They'll be tatters in a year." And that would be sight in itself. The man sighed into his pillow, trying to ignore Sephiroth's inquisitive stare.

"Cloud... You're sure you want to do this?"

The man groaned into the pillow. He was too tired to be answering that, even though the answer was simply, 'Yes.' He was just tired of thinking about the whole thing like it was even a question anymore. This path wasn't a choice anymore. He'd made his decision the second he'd called Sephiroth from the materia. How to make the man understand that...

Cloud lifted his head and said bluntly, "Don't ever fucking ask me that again, or I swear I'll kill you," before his face landed back on the pillow.

The man behind him, getting a good view of his sprawled out body, stayed silent for a moment, but then murmured, "Let's go then."


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last two chapters ended up being 5500+ words of 50% smut. :P If you don't want to read that, well, it's fine to leave off with chapter 11. :) Just know they live happily every after. :D

A mix of cool mountain and sea air drifted over Cloud, chilling him, despite the small fire in front of him. Cloud clutched the sleeping bag closer to his body from the inside. No matter how hard he tried though, he couldn't find warmth. Or peaceful sleep, for that matter, despite the fact that it was well past midnight.

Cloud was sure his discomfort and unease were all in his head though. After all, on the other side of the fire, Sephiroth's back to him, Sephiroth had knocked out a good couple of hours before, under and over a pile of blankets, ones he'd hastily purchased at the hotel. Sephiroth had always been that way though, as far as Cloud knew, being able to pass out within a minute or two of lying down, probably a self-trained ability to get sleep when he could.

At the moment though, that wonderful ability pissed Cloud off.

Cloud blew out a shallow, jealous breath, closing his eyes for surely the thousandth time that night. His mind wouldn't shut up. Never mind certain parts of his body.

If they could just lay together, perhaps he'd be able to control himself somewhat more and actually sleep. Even as he thought it though, he snorted, knowing it was one of the biggest lies he'd ever told himself. He couldn't even sleep _near_ Sephiroth that night, let alone sleeping against him, at least not without some heated attention to wear him out.

...But perhaps the total denial of intimacy was what was driving his unbearable lust.

Groaning, rolling onto his back, he looked up at the stars and tried to find the constellations his mother had taught him as a child, as a hopefully lulling distraction. At that point, they were north of Nibelheim, on the other side of the mountains, at the coast and near Rocket Town, the lights of which could barely be seen at the west horizon.

After days on end of Sephiroth being against him while driving his motorcycle, every night that followed...

Yes, every night was torture, being so close to him, yet forced to keep his distance. But this was the first time he'd just laid there for hours. And this man, whom he'd wanted to emulate as a teenager, wanted to hold in his arms at that moment, and so wanted to hear the 'I love you' from his lips again, was lying so close to him, yet he couldn't have him.

Cloud wouldn't allow himself to make the first move. Not anymore. Not since they'd left Edge. Not with the distance Sephiroth clearly wanted while off of the motorcycle.

But at that moment, utterly irritated, Cloud was seriously starting to not care about morality and understanding. Really, if Sephiroth didn't want him, he could always resist him, shove him away, tell him to calm his hormones the hell down.

_God, does Sephiroth even have hormones?_

Cloud sighed weakly, annoyed at both himself and Sephiroth, trying to ignore the semi-hardness at his groin. Blue eyes closed for the thousandth and one time that night.

No wonder Sephiroth had been a SOLDIER and idol to any SOLDIER-wannabes. The man had so much control over his own body that he put Cloud to embarrassing shame.

Then again, maybe Sephiroth just didn't want him. At least not in the way Cloud wanted him. Before those two days nearly a week ago, his ex-commander had never once made any kind of advance on him. Admittedly, he'd been young when they'd first known each other, Sephiroth nine years his senior, but still...

Horny and frustrated to the point of going crazy, he edged a hand over his hip, in between his legs. Strong fingers drew over the hidden flesh, scratching at it through a thick layer of cloth, allowing himself to shudder slightly instead of releasing a moan at pretending that the hand was Sephiroth's instead of his own. Overall, it was a weak sensation though and not at all what he truly wanted.

Cloud growled again and dropped his hand back to the ground before he embarrassed himself.

Maybe he could just walk away for a few minutes and take care of himself. If the other man awoke, he could claim it was a bathroom break. The other choice, being caught with his dick in his hand, well, yeah, that wasn't happening. Then again, they were both men, right? What was the shame in jacking off a bit if he wasn't getting any elsewhere?

His hand itched to move, his length already solid, but he couldn't find the will to do it, at least not yet. Instead, he rolled away, putting his back to the fire and Sephiroth, and closed his eyes for the thousandth and two time. Eventually, thankfully, while chasing away thought, sleep came up on him and his exhausted mind.

Sephiroth couldn't close his eyes. Nor could he turn to face the other man, even when he heard the infrequent groans, sighs, mumblings, as Cloud's restless body shifted. Well, he wouldn't turn because of them.

In the days before, so much had changed. He could barely grasp the immense differences in what he now had to call his 'life'. He'd gained a mortal body he hadn't wanted, along with its apparent disturbing lack of power and strength, although he knew it was still in him. At the hands of Parker, becoming the man's plaything, he'd become exactly what he'd feared being inside of the materia. To lose complete and utter control like that... It was something he in no way wanted to talk about, ever. He just wanted to claw the whole horrific experience out of his mind.

And then there was Cloud's utter determination to destroy his own life. For him. Along with that abandonment, maybe even because of it, came Cloud's overwhelming desire for him which burned Sephiroth every time Cloud looked at him.

Days before, that hungry look hadn't affected him nearly this much. He'd been able to keep a certain amount of well-practiced distance with both his heart and mind.

But now everything was just so different. He felt like, if he actually gave himself to Cloud at this point, that it would mean far too much, that he'd have to give up a huge part of himself and there would be no turning back for his soul. He also knew it'd mean far too much to Cloud, if he did.

He'd never given himself to someone before. Yes, he'd had the occasional lover, more as a release of tension than anything, and only during the war when soldiers had little choice but to depend on one another in a foreign land. At the time, Midgar and his 'normal' life had seemed so far away. But when he'd become their commander, he'd stopped sleeping with his newfound subordinates.

...If only he could just offer his body to Cloud. Perhaps it would ease some of the tension between them that felt like a thick cloud of unbreathable air. A good portion of him wanted to, just to get it over with, since he knew with everything in him that it was bound to happen someday anyway if they stayed together.

_Isn't it better to just get it over with? Surely it is..._

But that thought couldn't stop his ramming heart every time he even considered it, which in turn stopped him from acting upon the impulse. He just... He wasn't ready for it.

But that night, his heart's ramming couldn't stop him from finally turning onto his back and looking at the other man. Cloud's back was turned to him, his smaller frame still except for the soft, steady breathing. He realized the man had finally gone to sleep.

But just in case, he whispered, "Cloud?" hoping the man was awake as much as he hoped he _was_ asleep.

Cloud didn't move. Sephiroth watched him for a while longer and then looked to the sky before closing his eyes. He swallowed down the lump in his throat, trying to still himself. Eventually, with the certainty that the other man was asleep, the tension released somewhat and sleep overtook him.

Sephiroth awoke to a light shake of his shoulder, the early morning sun beating into his cringing, blinking eyes.

"Come on, if we get going, we can have something other than rations for breakfast. Rocket Town should only be an hour or two from here. And I need to fill up my tank anyway."

Sephiroth nodded and tried to move before realizing how stiff his body was. There was nothing like sleeping on the hard ground all night and then riding on a motorcycle all day, all for days on end. His body told him they really needed a break. Years before, it would have taken him far longer to tire out. Perhaps he was getting old. Or perhaps he was just more human now than he wanted to admit after a life of nearly the complete opposite.

And now it was the appropriate time for Cloud to move away. But the man stayed crouched for a few seconds longer, watching him. Sephiroth tried to not look back, not ready for it yet. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Cloud's mouth open to say something before it closed again.

Sephiroth tried to hold back any response, as it'd only encourage the other man, but he couldn't help raising his arms to grip his hair at the top of his head as slitted eyes closed, a reaction he knew was going to get him unwanted attention.

"Sephiroth?"

The word spurted him into motion. He sat up and then rotated his head and shoulders, stretched his arms, trying to work the kinks out, all while Cloud blatantly watched. When a hand touched his bangs, brushing them slightly, his gaze jerked to look at Cloud.

The hand instantly withdrew. "I'll get you a brush too when we get there. I should have gotten you one in Costa del Sol, but I didn't think about it. We should have braided it, at least"

We? The word reminded him that Cloud -had- braided his hair days before. He reclosed his eyes at the memory of strong, steady weaving, the almost meditative tugs on his scalp. And it'd been quite a while since he'd seen himself in a mirror, but he could imagine his state. He tried to rake a hand through it but didn't get far. "Perhaps it's time to cut it."

Cloud made a disgusted sound and Sephiroth looked to him with a raised brow. "It's your hair, but..."

"But what?"

Slim, but strong fingers pushed some white bangs away from his face, as the man smiled. "I like your hair."

It wasn't so much the comment as the man's gentle touch that twisted his gut. He should have pulled away, stood up, and put distance between them, if he had any hope for keeping at least emotional distance. Instead, he found his eyes closing as Cloud did it again, pulling the locks behind his ear this time to keep them back. The hand came back to caress his cheek, the touch barely existent.

"Sephiroth?"

He could hear the concern there that hadn't been there the first time Cloud had said his name a couple of minutes before. Concern from this man... He didn't know how to handle it. No one had ever spoken like this to him before. With everyone else, there'd always been some ulterior motive to any concern, the emotion being rare in his direction in the first place. With Cloud... The man was just concerned. It completely disorientated him.

The hand cupped his cheek, and he finally pulled away, his breathing noticeably heavier.

"Sorry..."

Sephiroth knew he should just claim the man as the other man wanted to claim him in return. It would have been so simple to do so. And less painful, at least for now.

And he knew it wouldn't mean they'd be forced to spend the rest of their lives together, and that was part of the problem. There'd always be the chance that Cloud would change his mind about all of this, would leave him alone in a world that wanted him dead, while this body gave Sephiroth an absurd craving for life. Well, he even expected Cloud to leave him eventually, when the loss of everything and the pressure to conform became too great. He himself could never again reenter society, his features impossible to completely hide. But surely Cloud could and eventually would.

If he'd just let himself enjoy the moment... He knew it could be good. But...

He wanted more than that. He... He didn't want to be alone, not anymore when he knew it to be so inevitable and he felt so weak in mind and body.

He opened his eyes, frowning, as he admitted to himself that just the prospect of abandonment terrified him. He didn't want Cloud to leave, but knew he was going to eventually, no matter how good Cloud's intentions were.

Was that why he fought this internally with nearly all of his strength, no matter how much they both wanted it? Was he just plain scared of giving in and then being forced to live with the inevitable repercussions?

Cloud finally stood back up, probably to give him the distance he assumed Sephiroth needed. Sephiroth watched him walk away to roll up the sleeping bag he'd been sleeping in. Sephiroth wanted to say something but he didn't even know how to start. After the man finished loading his stuff into the motorcycle, Cloud turned around and frowned at him. No, Sephiroth hadn't moved and was still sitting, his legs still under the blankets.

"What?" Cloud crossed his arms. "Are you... You don't have to go into town if you don't want to."

"That's not what..." He couldn't finish the statement as it'd only confirm Cloud's obvious suspicions that something was distressing him. He bent his legs and crossed them, putting his elbows to rest near his knees, gripping his hair at the top of his head.

"Sephiroth... What's wrong?"

No wonder he'd never bothered with a relationship beyond the fringes of friendship. The whole of it, dealing with this, was extremely difficult. And he'd been so ill-prepared to deal with one, spending most of his life at the hands of uncaring scientists and military men, all with their own objectives that included using him as a tool. Even his own 'mother' had used him, although he didn't truly know if that had been her or his crazed-self whispering hate and desires in his hungry mind.

_Just stop resisting so fucking much... Be grateful you have something, someone for once, even if it won't last._

Cloud watched him for a few moments, but then walked up to him cautiously, came down onto his knees and sat on his heels. The added height would have put their heads at about the same level, if Sephiroth had been sitting up straight.

Careful fingers put a stray lock behind his ear again and Sephiroth grabbed the hand before Cloud could pull it away. He brought it to his lips like Cloud had done days before. He didn't want to let the limb go, ever. He hated feeling so vulnerable and hadn't felt this way for years, not since his early teens. Back then, his days had been filled with torturous experimentation and conditioning without a hint of considering his humanity.

Today... Well, this wasn't torture by another. Any torture he was experiencing at the moment was self-induced.

Soft lips kissed the hand that fisted as Cloud sucked in a breath. And that was just the man's hand. Sephiroth couldn't help a smile. "Do you have any idea what I want to do to you?"

"No... But I wish you would."

The white-haired man's smile deepened, even if it was still lined in misery. He turned the hand in his grasp and saw a long scar traveling up the man's arm. He traced it with a finger from his other hand. He didn't know where Cloud had gotten it, but surely it was directly or indirectly from him. "I wish I hadn't fought you so much... Not just now, but... I-I used you like..."

He'd used Cloud, repeatedly, like he'd been used over and over and over again throughout his life. And yet, this man was the one next to him. It didn't make sense, but that didn't change the fact that it was true.

"I don't care about that anymore. It doesn't matter anymore. Not to me, at least. Please, just..."

"Please stop worrying about it?"

"Yes..."

Sephiroth knew he wouldn't be able to do that, but he didn't say any more on it and instead brought the arm back to his mouth, kissing the scar he'd caressed, grazing it with his teeth, loving the weak groaning sounds Cloud made as he did it.

And then, surprising him, Cloud was suddenly straddling him, pushing him back against the rolled up blanket that'd served as his pillow. The man claimed his mouth, kissing him with abandon, rubbing his groin against his own.

At that moment, it was like something clicked in his very soul, or perhaps merely let go of something. His own body burned with a heat he hadn't known for years. But before that moment, his sexuality had been more like a cinder waiting to be smothered. Now, his body was fire itself as he gave back as much as the other man gave.

He grabbed the man's hips, pulling their bodies together, making the contact just that more intense. Cloud's lips left his mouth, kissed his jaw, his throat, nipped at his collarbone, as Sephiroth tilted his head back. Reckless hands yanked Sephiroth's shirt out of his pants and clawed at the flesh underneath. The white-haired man pushed his own chest against those hands, loving the harshness of them after so much denial.

"God, I want you so badly," Cloud panted out against his neck, "Why didn't I buy any fucking lube? I should have brought that stupid cooking oil with me."

Sephiroth huffed, trying to tame his body from finding a way into this man. Intercourse wouldn't be comfortable if they didn't have something, no matter how willing. Accepting fate somewhat, he rolled, bringing Cloud underneath him, before he tried to pull away. Cloud's strength, well, the man was surprisingly strong with the mako and Jenova cells infused in him. Sephiroth had to admit as he pulled back that Cloud was undeniably stronger, even if Cloud didn't realize it yet. The knowledge made him falter, but only slightly. His hunger was too great.

With the bit of space he had, he unzipped Cloud's pants as Cloud's hips ground against his hands. Cloud's face... The man was so lost in his pleasure, so beautiful in it, that Sephiroth couldn't help claiming his mouth again, drawing heated moans into his own mouth, as he pulled the length out of Cloud's pants.

When he pulled away again, Cloud was obviously reluctant to let him go, pulling at his arms to come back. Sephiroth shifted out from underneath the blankets and further down until he could claim Cloud's length in his mouth. He wasted no time in bringing it deep into him, ignoring the gagging sensation, forcing himself to relax. He hadn't done this for years, not with a physical body at least, and this body surely hadn't done it before, but he forced it nonetheless, not caring about discomfort as Cloud's thrusting, moaning, sweat dampened body made it so worthwhile.

He'd forgotten what a racing heart felt like. It made him feel faint, while at the same time, gave him the strength to draw out an orgasm from his lover. His mouth moved to the tip while his hand pumped Cloud strongly, drawing the cum out of him. His other hand drew out his own length from his pants.

What was deposited into his mouth, he spit into his hand, dipping his fingers into it. With his other hand, he encouraged the disorientated, panting man onto his side who pulled his pants down with enthusiasm. Sephiroth spooned him from behind, slipping his arm underneath Cloud's neck to hold him close, and pushed two fingers into him easily. Cloud met the pressing, encouraging him to go deeper. The fingers thrust in and out, spreading him, even as his cock begged to switch places. He didn't want to hurt Cloud in any way. Ever again. If he himself got hurt, well...

He'd live or die with any pain, and be happy he'd tried, at least.

What was left on his hand, he spread over his own length, and then, trying to restrain himself, he pressed somewhat urgently against the willing hole. Cloud pressed back, gasping when the head entered him. He could imagine the burn and loved the smaller man all the more for taking it, enjoying it, as both of their hips moved, Cloud pushing back to meet his deepening thrusts.

Reaching around with his now free, slick hand, he gripped Cloud's hard cock and pumped it in time to their hips. He kissed Cloud's neck, the head tilting against the ground to offer more to him.

Why had he ever fought this man? So much time wasted...

Slaps hit the air as their fucking brought their hips to move faster, until Cloud's breathing hitched repeatedly, reaching the height of his second orgasm. Cloud buried his face in the blanket, trying to blunt out his calls. With the repeated tightening around Sephiroth's cock and the noises and lustful movement of Cloud's body, Sephiroth didn't have a choice but to come. He pressed into his lover, groaning with tightening of his groin, willing Cloud to take all he offered. And Cloud did, pressing himself back, hissing after every quick exhale of breath.

Afterwards, he pulled at Cloud's chest, holding him against himself, so unwilling to let him go, as their breaths slowly evened out.

Eventually, Cloud sighed out, "I think we need to wash the blankets now."

Sephiroth huffed, nuzzling blonde spikes of hair at the back of Cloud's head, before he released Cloud's waning erection, Cloud groaning with the loss of contact. Then the white-haired man sat up slightly and brought the tangle of blankets over their bodies.

He held him with both arms, so determined to never let him go. He kissed the back of his ear and whispered, "I love you."

Cloud laid his hands over the arms gripping him and then gripped them strongly. "Promise me you're going to tell me that at least five times a day from now on."

Sephiroth smiled. "I promise."


	13. Epilogue

~~~ Four years later ~~~

Up from a lazy nap, Cloud bent over to make his way out of the tent they could take down and travel with at a moment's notice. Or leave behind, for that matter, with no real loss incurred. The evening was still warm, something to be expected northeast of Cosmo Canyon, south of the Lucrecia's cave and the river, tucked in by the small mountain range there.

The twenty-seven-year-old man stretched his body while watching Sephiroth from a distance. The other man was seated on a slab of rock at the river's edge, a fishing pole in his hand, white hair flowing in the mild breeze and smoothing over a tanned torso clothed in a black sleeveless undershirt. His legs were concealed completely underneath the black military ripstop pants with an infuriatingly slow-to-unbutton fly and his calf-high boots.

Cloud smiled at the sight and the concentration Sephiroth maintained at such a boring task. The sight always made him smile. He was glad Sephiroth enjoyed the quietness of fishing since he himself couldn't stand sitting still for so long.

Releasing a breath through barely touching lips, he turned away and grabbed a large, wide sword propped on a pole holding up the clothesline. And then, with sure motions, he practiced the routines he'd learned as a trooper, as well as the SOLDIER routines he'd learned from Zack when he'd known him, and a few of Sephiroth's. With his twirls and turnarounds, he noticed his lover watching him, but he ignored it. It was only fair, since he watched Sephiroth train as well with a sword that in no way replaced Masamune, that original, perfectly-balanced thing of beauty lost long before in the lifestream.

Nearly an hour later, breathing heavily, muscles burning, he propped the metal back up, walked up to the river, stripped out of his sleeveless shirt, pants, and socks and boots, and waded in to wash the sweat dripping off of him, dragging the clothes with him as well to rinse them.

"You're going to scare the fish away with that thing hanging out."

Cloud grinned before smiled at the other man. "You haven't caught anything anyway."

"The evening is still young," Sephiroth said softly, having no apparent shame in watching Cloud's every movement.

With the stare, Cloud couldn't help his stiffening length, so he moved faster, hoping to stop the blood flow with the chilly water. A quarter of the way in, he was deep enough to dunk his head briefly, flattening darkened blonde spikes of hair to his head.

The water only partially did its shrinkage job though. Dropping his wet clothes at the shoreline, Cloud made his way to the man a short distance away who then eyed him with clear suspicion. When Cloud tried to come on top of him, Sephiroth pushed him away with one hand.

"You're all wet."

"But you like me all wet."

"Yes, but I'm trying to catch us supper at the moment."

"Don't worry about it. There are other things I'd like to eat," Cloud murmured, pulling at his fly.

Sephiroth gripped the hand, stilling it, but not drawing it away. Cloud could feel the awakening underneath the fabric and bit at his own bottom lip. Slitted eyes roamed over him for a brief second. "Are you trying to get fucked?"

Cloud grinned and leaned over, kissing the man's neck, his own thickening length and balls hanging freely. "Am I so obvious?"

"When naked, yes," the man said, somehow managing say it sternly with the smirk trying to edge up his mouth. Then his eyes closed when Cloud flattened his hand and squeezed at the sizable limb hiding there. Sephiroth groaned before he released Cloud's hand and gripped the back of his head, pulling him into a deep kiss. When Sephiroth pulled back, his skin was flushed with his desire, his eyes dialated. Breathily, he whispered, "I let this be too easy for you."

"Which would imply that I'm easy."

Sephiroth grinned. "Or that I am."

"Fine, we both are."

Putting the fishing rod down next to himself, Sephiroth pulled him back and kissed him slowly as Cloud blindly unbuttoned the man's pants with both hands. Cloud then pulled out the man's erection, trailing fingers over it, making his lover moan deeply. When Sephiroth's hand tried to grab Cloud's own length, Cloud batted it away, pulled back, and then got down on his knees beside the stone.

Soft lips mouthed and kissed the length of the erection he held, trailing them to the base. The heavy breaths tinged with moans from Sephiroth were glorious to Cloud's ears as Sephiroth watched him through half-lidded eyes. When he rose back up to tongue the slit, Sephiroth dropped his head back, his legs spreading, hips twitching as he resisted the urge to thrust, his hand gripping uselessly at the rock at his sides.

Could there have been a more beautiful sight than Sephiroth overcome by his desire? Cloud didn't think so. In fact, all of him made Cloud rock-hard so quickly.

Sucking the tip briefly, to draw out the pooling pre-cum, Cloud then bobbed his head, moaning at the cock in his mouth when hands suddenly gripped his wet hair, encouraging him to move faster with the barest hints of pressure. Quickly though, moaning, panting, Sephiroth was overtaken by his urgency, and gripped harder, pulled harder, making Cloud moan himself.

When the panting, the grip, and the thrusting hips signaled Sephiroth's inevitable release, Cloud pulled away without mercy. Sephiroth let him go with a groan, quite familiar with the routine, even if he didn't like the withdrawal.

Sitting back on his feet, Cloud played lightly with the length, watching his lover tremble, enjoying the man being so far gone because of him. His other hand reached into Sephiroth's pocket, knowing there was lube there. "Turn over."

Sephiroth focused on him briefly with lust-filled eyes and then turned over quite willingly onto his hand and knees. Cloud stood. Known from experience, the slab of rock put the taller man more or less at the perfect position when Cloud stood.

After pulling the black pants down off of his hips, Cloud opened the bottle, dribbled some of the slick stuff onto his finger and then pressed one and then two into Sephiroth's willing body. The white-haired man quickly opened up to him, pressing back, moaning wantonly as the fingers rubbed at him on the inside. He tossed the bottle onto the rock and reached between the other man's quivering legs, gently kneading the hanging balls, tightening up the sack even more, despite his pulls. Sephiroth spread his legs as far as he could with the pants restricting him.

Then Cloud bit playfully at an ass cheek, making Sephiroth let out a startled yelp, his torso jolting forward. Cloud chuckled and smoothed his hand over the reddening flesh.

"Bastard. Get on with it."

"So impatient for a thirty-six year-old man. Didn't they teach you endurance at SOLDIER?"

Sephiroth huffed at the teasing before his pressing back quickly became self-fucking. Cloud withdrew his fingers then, making the man groan, but Sephiroth didn't protest more since he surely knew he was going to get what he wanted. And Cloud didn't make him wait, slicking up his length quickly and then strongly pressing it to Sephiroth's entrance. It didn't take much to enter the willing body, nor to completely imbed himself with steady, demanding thrusts. Completely inside, he held Sephiroth's hips, stilling any hope of movement, relishing in the tight feel around his erection. His lover whimpered and Cloud could barely stop his own whimper at the forced stillness.

After a few moments, unable to help himself, Cloud relented, pushing and pulling with slow, steady movements, adoring the way Sephiroth's body conformed to him, tried to milk him dry. He kept the steady pace well past the point of both of them wanting something more forceful. But every time they made love, he wanted it to last to the end of his days. This time was no exception.

Eventually though, his body got the better of him, and he reached around to stroke Sephiroth's length that was being neglected, Sephiroth's weak panting quickly becoming full-out moans, his body thrusting at the hand and at the cock inside of him.

Cloud knew he couldn't last long with Sephiroth so passionate. He grasped the man's hip, digging in nails. His other hand gripped tightly, coming close to yanking. Sephiroth's breath hitched, and then he let out a series of quick moaning gasps as he came, his seed spilling over Cloud's hand, and onto his undershirt and the stone below him. At the man's climax, with the tightening at his length, Cloud found his own, plunging into him, before he came, the orgasm seeming to take his mind with it. 

After it, overcoming fatigue made him lay down on the other man who was having problems of his own staying up. But landing on a hard rock wasn't exactly a good after-orgasm experience. Less than a minute later, when Cloud could catch his breath, he withdrew, both of them sucking in a breath, released Sephiroth's length, and then grabbed his wrist, urging him to stand.

Turning to face him, the man looked down at him with sleepy eyes and bent down to kiss him. But at Cloud's urging, pulling up his undershirt, he pulled away and stripped. Then he followed Cloud into the chilly water, which woke them both up.

When the water had washed most of the cum and sweat away, Sephiroth shifted to come around behind him and wrapped his arms around Cloud's chest, holding him close, finding warmth in the smaller man's body. He kissed Cloud's cheek and then jaw when Cloud tilted his head, his eyes closed. 

Near his ear, Sephiroth purred, "You didn't eat. Tasting doesn't count."

"Neither did you," Cloud said with a smile.

"Well, we'll have to remedy that," Sephiroth said between nibbles, before pulling him towards the tent. Cloud went quite willingly. 

It was a wonder they ever bothered to get clean.


End file.
